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Anastasia Steele Getting Railed To Soothing Sounds Of Bach And Chopin? Oh, E.L. James!

| Filed under: Music MinuteAlexander SkarsgårdBookz50 Shades Of Grey

50 shades of grey classical listening guide el james destroying more than just literature

A sommelier is someone who specializes in the intricate matching of food dishes to particular wines.

Do you know what we call someone who pairs specific classical music pieces to deviantly kinky acts of sadomasochism?

E.L. James!

The atypical author who gave us 150 different shades of a dark and freed Christian Grey returns with recommendations on what background music should be playing whilst one feasts on her titillating trilogy!

She's collaborating with EMI Classics to release 50 Shades of Grey: The Classical Album!

Fifteen tracks of sexually charged classical compositions designed to deeply penetrate your ears while one hand flips pages and the other cracks open the TV remote to steal the batteries!

Consider that the next time you re-read chapter seven for that one scene where Christian Grey — who looks strikingly similar to Alexander Skarsgard in our mind's eye — blindfolds us Anastasia and bends us her over her desk so that he can mind-eff us her before he quite literally effs us her!

It could be even hotter with Thomas Tallis's Spem in Alium! bellowing in the background!

In a statement, James said:

“I am thrilled that the classical pieces that inspired me while I wrote the 50 Shades Trilogy are being brought together in one collection for all lovers of the books to enjoy.”

The compilation hits stores on August 21 but we imagine most of you secret seks shoppers will buy it online, LOLz!!

Take a peek at the complete track listing below:

1 Lakmé (Act I): Flower Duet (Mady Mesplé, Danielle Millet)
2 Bach: Adagio from Concerto #3 BWV 974 (Alexandre Tharaud)
3 Villa-Lobos: Bachianas Brasilerias #5 – Cantilena (Barbara Hendricks)
4 Verdi: La Traviata Prelude (Riccardo Muti / Philharmonia Orchestra)
5 Pachelbel: Canon in D (Sir Neville Marriner/ Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields)
6 Tallis: Spem in Alium (The Tallis Scholars)
7 Chopin: Prelude #4 in E minor, Largo (Samson François)
8 Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto #2 – Adagio Sostenuto (Cecile Ousset, Sir Simon Rattle / CBSO)
9 Vaughan Williams: Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis (Sir Adrian Boult / LPO)
10 Canteloube: Chants d’auvergne, Bailero (Arleen Auger)
11 Chopin: Nocturne #1 in B-flat minor (Samson François)
12 Faure: Requiem – In Paradisum (Choir of King’s College, Cambridge / Stephen Cleobury)
13 Bach: Goldberg Variation – Aria (Maria Tipo)
14 Debussy: La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin (Moura Lympany)
15 Bach: Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring (Alexis Weissenberg)

[Image via EMI Classics.]

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13 comments to “Anastasia Steele Getting Railed To Soothing Sounds Of Bach And Chopin? Oh, E.L. James!”



  1. 1

    They have actually done tests that show that the music most likely to get someone hot and bothered is the music they listened to when they were in high school. In other words, the music played when our hormones were at an all time high still trigger endorphins. I would way rather listen to Boston's More Than a Feeling, Exile's I want to Kiss you All Over, or Stairway to Heaven. Classical music reminds me of the old lady next door. So not hot.



  2. 2

    Every woman should read this series. Yes, I love me some good porn, but this is raunchiness and emotion told from the eyes of a woman and not what a man THINKS a woman thinks.



  3. 3

    Re: bytchface – I read the first book and found it laughable. Very little plot, very little character development, repetitive. It was like it was written by a teenager. I can't believe it is so popular.



  4. 4

    Re: rosebud99 – The first is actually the worst. And yes, it is written with terrible dialogue and poor plot development. I have a high post-secondary education and a very respectable career and enjoy the subject matter and literary escape. If I want something to make me think about politics and word belief systems I sit at my work desk.



  5. 5

    this video is funny:

  6. scot says – reply to this


    6

    I think Lana Del Rey should play Ana that's if she can act. She looks like she'd be up for doing the sex scenes rather then Emma Watson.



  7. 7

    women reading Trash…thats all what they can read

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    8

    What! No Beyonce or Britney??????? lol

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