[Image via Instagram.]
There aren't words in this or any language to adequately describe what you are about to witness!
If 50 Shades blew your mind, you will certainly enjoy Dave Collins.
He is a relatively unremarkable man from Arkansas who probably admires Tim Tebow and rarely cheats on his taxes.
Also, he loves balloons.
No. Really. He loves them!
Ch-ch-check out Dave's UNBELIEVABLE testimonial (above) about his non-sexual adoration of those colorful latex things we love to blow up at parties!
We know what you're thinking… but you'd be wrong — he's a man of purity!!
Dave doesn't pop the balloons, that would be tantamount to murder!
You have been warned.