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This Guy Has Sex With Balloons … But He Won't SUCK The Helium!

| Filed under: TV NewsWacky, Tacky & True50 Shades Of Grey

There aren't words in this or any language to adequately describe what you are about to witness!

If 50 Shades blew your mind, you will certainly enjoy Dave Collins.

He is a relatively unremarkable man from Arkansas who probably admires Tim Tebow and rarely cheats on his taxes.

Also, he loves balloons.

No. Really. He loves them!

Ch-ch-check out Dave's UNBELIEVABLE testimonial (above) about his non-sexual adoration of those colorful latex things we love to blow up at parties!

We know what you're thinking… but you'd be wrong — he's a man of purity!!

Dave doesn't pop the balloons, that would be tantamount to murder!

You have been warned.

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11 comments to “This Guy Has Sex With Balloons … But He Won't SUCK The Helium!”

  1. AliKnight says – reply to this


    You know, this really pisses me off. If you'd actually bothered to watch this program (which is pretty damn fascinating) you would have heard this guy say very adamantly, he does NOT have sex with balloons. He feels a sort of romantic ( COMPLETELY NON SEXUAL) affection for them. This can still be considered "strange" but this man has the courage to share his most personal secret, attempting to educate people on subjects they are completely unaware of. He deserves respect, or at least proper representation. Seriously, retract this. This is so idiotic of you.

  2. 2

    Perez. You are an ignorant fool. In the caption you state that he has sex with these balloons. Then in the description you title is as a "non-sexual" relationship. Get you shit together!

  3. brad says – reply to this


    I must have missed the part where he has sex with balloons. What part does he state that or is that shown, Paris?

  4. 4

    whats wrong with you Perez? Yeah he is a freak and its all unnatural. Hey I don't really believe the whole no sex with the balloons but he flat states that he has non-sexual, romantic feelingf for them. And what the fuck do you post? "Man has sex with balloons." No matter how skinny you get you will always be that asshole who will do or say anything to get famous, you should change this for that mans sake. He had guts to go on TV with this crazy lifestyle.

  5. 5

    hahahahaaaaaaa perez

    basically i worry i mean what happenes if the balloons pop does he have some kind of balloon break down… thing is im not that disturbed by this harmless balloon love maybe been around photoshopper too long i dont know

  6. 6

    how could this guy be any worse than your desire to defecate into boy's mouths?

  7. 7

    Yet another post wrong. In your desperation to branch out and become a celebrity (which isn't going to happen, fool), you've been doing everything you do very badly. Your sites suck; you post shit that's wrong all the time, and if you've written it, it's very badly done. It's all finally catching up with you too. You can try to ignore the comments (which would be stupid), passing them off as evidence of jealousy, but Mario, no one wants to be you. You are the object of scorn, ridicule, and have evolved into a joke. I'd feel sorry for you if it wasn't what you absolutely deserved. You are a piece of shit; enjoy the trip into the sewer.

  8. moradopotado says – reply to this


    this guy is a balloonatic

  9. Lewis says – reply to this


    Reserves…he's in the Reserves.

  10. 10

    for more balloon fetish ;)

  11. James says – reply to this


    OK he is a little different, But your distortion of the facts is just sick and sooooo wrong.