"I feel like me and Taylor Swift might still have sex, I made that b*tch famous."
That's pretty wild, and honestly pretty uncalled for!
See Jaime's post from the presentation (below):
[Image via AP Images.]
Oh captain my bare-chested captain!
According to reports, Simon was lounging on deck with his ex-girlfriend, when someone on the ship received a distress signal from another nearby boat.
Simon ordered his ship's captain to find the sinking, smaller sea vessel, and once they discovered its location, Simon's captain initiated retrieval procedure, ushering all 9 potential drowning victims on board.
Simon's crew even saved the 35 foot ship, apparently plugging the hole that was causing all the damage.
OK, so Simon didn't actually do anything, but at least he didn't just ignore the distress, call, right?!
Take a peek at a half-naked Simon as he rules the waves like a
boss pauper of the surf (below)!
[Image via Mavrix Online.]