50 Shades Of Grey Porno Flick One Step Closer To Reality! E.L. James Picked A Screenwriter!

E.L. James can sleep soundly tonight!! Or as soundly as one could ever sleep atop bricks of gold bars, LOLz!!

50 Shades of Grey found a screenwriter!! Her name is Kelly Marcel!

Is Kelly the mastermind behind 9 1/2 Weeks?? Does she have experience writing Penthouse Letters?

Nope!

She wrote the upcoming nuanced Disney flick Saving Mr. Banks, starring Tom Hanks, Colin Farrell, and Emma Thompson!

Whoa! Talk about putting lipstick on a pit bull!

That's like bringing French artist Edgar Degas to a dive bar and commissioning him to draw eXXXotic stick figures on the door of the bathroom stall!

Don't class up our favorite piece of smut-fiction too much, Mizz Marcel!! The people would storm the gates of your castle if you didn't give them copious amounts of ball-gags and anal beads!

Universal Pictures, E.L., and producer Mike De Luca picked her for a reason, though, and they aren't worried. Mike praised her in a recent statement:

“Kelly’s work demonstrates her flawless structural technique and passionate commitment to emotion, humor and depth of character.”

Speaking of taking Ana Steele deep, can we has cheezburger Matt Bomer as Christian Grey now??!!

[Image via Michael Carpenter/WENN.]

Tags: 50 shades of grey, adaptations, anastasia steele, bookz, christian grey, colin farrell, disney, el james, emma thompson, film flickers, kelly marcel, matt bomer, mike de luca, saving mr banks, tom hanks, universal, universal pictures