Congratulations, convicted murderer! We can't wait for you to raise kids!
Pardon us if we're feeling sarcastic todayM but we CANNOT believe Joran Van der Sloot will bring children into this world!
Apparently, a mystery woman going by the name of "Leidi" visited his jail four months ago and filled her belly with his child! At least that's the story Joran is confirming!
The admitted murderer is doing 28 years in a Peruvian prison for killing Stephany Tatiana Flores Ramírez and he's still the prime suspect in the 2005 disappearance of the beautiful Natalee Holloway.
We're not saying he wouldn't make an excellent father but — oh wait, YES WE ARE! He killed at least one young girl and doesn't seem to show any remorse!!
If anything, Joran is having the time of his life in prison!
If there is any justice in the universe, Leidi's child will be properly cared for by some OTHER loving guardians!
We would hate to see the apple stay close to such a poisonous tree!
[Image via AP Images.]