Justin Bieber Sued For Purchasing Penis Enlargement With Michigan Man's Credit Card

10/23/2012 2:10 PM ET | Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True • Silly! • Legal Matters • Usher • Selena Gomez • Justin Bieber

Settle down, Beliebers! This is all a bunch of BULL!

This might be the best lawsuit ever. As long as you don't take the civil courts seriously.

A Michigan man is suing Justin Bieber because he claims that the pop star stole his American Express credit card to purchase a penis enlargement.

But wait…it gets better (or worse, depending on how you look at it).

The plaintiff claims to be Selena Gomez's dad who lent her pop star boyfriend $426.78 for an abortion. Our words can't do his ludicrous charges justice, so here's what the court documents say:

"Bieber has cost me $426.78 and never paid me back. This money was used as abortion money because Justin Bieber got my daughter Selena pregnant in my bedroom, on my canadian bear rug."

Usher isn't getting out of this scandal scot free either. The lawsuit accuses Bieber's mentor of sodomy via firework insertion. The delusional docs continue:

"Usher Raymond came to my house on the forth of july 2012 and sodomized me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring kate perry [sic] firework song in my ear drums."

Ultimately, the man admits "I'm an emotional mess" and concludes:

"America must boycott Bieber's music!"

For the record, he didn't take the time to capitalize the "B" in Bieber or add that possessive apostrophe, so don't go thinking he's remotely coherent.

Clearly, this guy has got some issues and wants to take some celebs to crazytown with him.

[Image via WENN.]

Tags: celebs, charges, cray cray, crazy, justin bieber, lawsuit, lols, michigan, ridiculous, selena gomez, usher

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28 comments to “Justin Bieber Sued For Purchasing Penis Enlargement With Michigan Man's Credit Card”

raypearson says – reply to this

1

you complaining about some one elses spelling and grammar is irony at it's best. pot meet kettle.
selenaFan says – reply to this

2

Plz tell me this isnt true?
Phibes says – reply to this

3

Re: raypearson – Being sodomized with a Roman candle by Usher on the 4th of July (lit at the moment of ecstasy) while having Kat Perry's Firework song blaring into his eardrums is Pervertez's most exquisite fantasy.
karmen says – reply to this

4

this is not true!
jeffrey says – reply to this

5

Such a crock of bull. Anything to get ppls names in the media, ppl are so stupid just to be noticed. They must have alot of time on there hands and no brians.
Hayley R. says – reply to this

6

I have never laughed so hard at a article in my life.
ONIT says – reply to this

7

LOL
"I'm an emotional mess" - That I beliebe.
Ritaa says – reply to this

8

Hahahaha , the picture is hilarious !
Live4Life13 says – reply to this

9

SOOOOO WEAK RIGHT NOW LMAO!!!!! Things you shouldn't read during clss
rox says – reply to this

10

but bieber is lesbian!!
hoochpit says – reply to this

11

Yeah, this big alright, this big in his ass. Little fucking homo, what aj oke.
Chanoc says – reply to this

12

This story is not true, it can't be, Beiber is not even male. As for Usher, I would imagine he's the one using the candle.
Julina says – reply to this

13

this is not true…it's a lie..
Rianie says – reply to this

14

Lol!! What This Is Ridiculous 😂
bitchsquad says – reply to this

15

sometimes i think you make stuff like this up, for your own thrill, because you are a sick person, with a sick mind. your "blog" has gone downhill over the last year. seriously stop feeding trolls(oh wait you are one :/)
Lady Who? says – reply to this

16

Admit if fuckwad, everything you post is the same as what's on tee.emmze.ee. Even your site layout is the same, right down to the crossing out of words in your post. Whoever writes there is the same person writing here, even their site has become gayer.
jalisabieber says – reply to this

17

They need to stop with rummors
Nicole says – reply to this

18

Okay, I don't think Justin would do something like that! I also don't think Justin and Selena would do that…he doesn't believe in abortion because it is killing a baby, so if he did actually get Selena pregnant, I think they would have the baby.
Belieber says – reply to this

19

Okay first Justin promised the world he wasn't going to sleep with anyone until he was married and second no he didn't. He didn't need one! Gosh leave the kid alone idiots!
Belieber says – reply to this

20

Re: Nicole – Ya i agree with you! And besides he is a Christian! Christians don't believe in sex before marriage or abortion!
jenn says – reply to this

21

first, we all know justin lost his virginity to selena already, its pretty clear. and second, umm you guys must be stupid to believe this joke of an article.
jessica says – reply to this

22

lol!! this is just funny!!! come on guys this is so fake and stupid this guy sounds mental!!
teeter totter says – reply to this

23

This person should be fined for wasting the court's time with a bogus lawsuit!
NOOOO says – reply to this

24

DA FUQ???????? NO Selena, please tell me you did not get pregnant with that fucking moron. Please, you deserve better.
perez posse number 777 says – reply to this

25

god there is some sick fucs out there
ouissal1999 says – reply to this

26

this is so funny
idunnolol says – reply to this

27

Re: jeffrey – *people's *people *a lot *their *brains
rienzke refugio says – reply to this

28

xoxo hot!!!