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Ashlee Simpson Is Back And Ready To F*ck U UP!

| Filed under: Music MinuteJessica SimpsonAshlee SimpsonLana Del Rey

We don't even… Wow. Just… wow.

Since her parents are getting a divorce, her daddy is (possibly) a gaylord and her sister Jessica Simpson has traveled back in time — now is the PERFECT time for Ashlee Simpson to return to the music scene!

The blonde singer popped back into the wide world of relevance Wednesday, by releasing a music video teaser for (what we're guessing is) her new single Bat For A Heart!

Think you're ready for a sneak peek at Ash's comeback?? PRESS PLAY (above) to see the most hipsterific 51 second video you have ever seen!

We gotta be honest, we are VERY surprised by her new sound. We had been told her new album (that has been almost two years in the making) was going to have a "folky' sound.

Bat For A Heart is NOT folky AT ALL!

We think Mz. Simpson sounds like Lana Del Rey, and looks like the Black Swan! LOLz!

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42 comments to “Ashlee Simpson Is Back And Ready To F*ck U UP!”

  1. Rebecca says – reply to this


    tots cheese…such a wannabe

  2. Evee says – reply to this


    yup..still sucks

  3. maureen says – reply to this


    Trying way too hard!

  4. 4

    I kinda like her. It is too bad that she is judged harshly for being Jessica's sister, and for lip-synching on SNL. Lip-synching sucks, but it seems that everyone does it.

  5. plo83 says – reply to this


    Seriously you're a gay man calling someone a ”gaylord”? I think you need to do a bit of research on internalized homophobia. Also while you're at it, stop trying to make ”boners” an expression or a thing. Nobody is saying it. It just sounds sick.

  6. 6

    I kind of like.

  7. Jessica says – reply to this


    So unique, so meaningful, so powerful, so artistic… wow. Yes, Ashley, you are special. Now if only you had some good talent….

  8. Stephaboo says – reply to this


    Youre such a bully wow. You say not to judge others and everyones "EQUAL" yet you call peopple names and insult them daily! This is why no one takes you seriously

  9. Claire says – reply to this


    God, she's trying SO hard, it's pathetic. And the song is awful. She looks relatively pretty though, so I'll give her that.

  10. greg says – reply to this


    Re: plo83 – lmao totally agree its very contradicting

  11. James says – reply to this


    I love her & I like this new sound and honestly I can't wait!

  12. 12

    oh girl, quit trying so hard to be something youre not. just looks so contrived and overly thought. and the song is just dire.

  13. justbeingmiley says – reply to this


    Re: James – LOL!

  14. cato says – reply to this


    this isnt a new sound for her at all. she actually sounds exactly the same it's just a slower song. shes still sing talking, which is different from lana del reys whining.

  15. esquimalito says – reply to this


    i think shes very talented and a great dancer. shes very young and neds ro find her own voice and talent but she can be amaizing. ill vote for you ashlee

  16. Geo says – reply to this


    I'm in love with her all over again! Love the song and she looks soo hot <3 waited so long for this! She never disappointed me!

  17. 17

    I hope she's just being creative vs trying to actually compete/be taken seriously as a musician.
    Nothing wrong with having a creative outlet, (she should try painting) but her time on ANY chart has passed.

  18. sm87 says – reply to this


    i think it's awesome - can't wait for more

  19. 19

    No talent. At all. She needs to give it a rest already and find something else to do.

  20. malia says – reply to this


    what the heck.. she was better on 7th heaven. lol

  21. Robert S says – reply to this


    Awesome! Love it! Can't wait for the full version!

  22. ec says – reply to this


    I Loved it!!!!!!

  23. 23

    As much as I dislike this song, it's head and shoulders above anything that hack Lana Del Ray could put out.

  24. rox says – reply to this


    i'm sorry but… wtf was that?

  25. Chris says – reply to this


    She's an asshole.

  26. Nikki says – reply to this


    Buts she has NO talent. She still sucks. I wish the whole family would f off & stay away. They stink!

  27. 27

    Re: rosebud99 – it's not just that, she just can't be taken seriously. i take her sister more seriously.

  28. 28

    Who the fuck buys this noise? Seriously. Go get wasted and verbally abuse fast food workers, honey. It's what you're good at.

  29. 29

    so her dad sucks cock?! i knew it!!

  30. jess says – reply to this


    this is horrible. I liked her older stuff. Dude quit trying so hard

  31. 31

    she just tries too hard to be "alternative", every single time, i mean really, girl thinks she's badass (when we all remember her as big nosed barbie-wannabe-jess's-sis & know where she came from - creepy rich christians) - there's too much second-hand-embarrassment watching her do anything.

  32. nerdychick83 says – reply to this


    zzzzzzz nobody cares ashlee…

  33. Jenny Love says – reply to this


    So sad…she needs to rip off Lana Del Ray to try and get a ride on the train to relevance.

  34. Dickular-region says – reply to this


    I could fart the ABC's and it still be better than anything Ashlee Simpson could ever sing or come up with.

  35. 35

    I could fart the ABC's and it still be better than anything Ashlee Simpson could ever sing or come up with.

  36. rebecka says – reply to this


    lol u compare her to lana ? are u deaf ? lana is genius and have a very emotional voice, this is just ****. she tries waaay to hard!

  37. kishybangpop says – reply to this


    NOW. IAM A ASHLEE SIMPSON HAG i freaking love this gal since that crappy autobiography show. even watched her on melrose that flopped lol i own all albums n find she gets alot of flack she can do some decent vocals i think it depends on the song style..this is OK…amost like shes evolved into something shes not kinda tryn too hard to be different …i actually think she shoulda stayed with her bittersweetworld sound n do a duet wit kesha lol <3

  38. arlen says – reply to this


    Pete Wentz = Bat heart, he's been using that logo for years.

  39. 39

    im wondering what the simpsons ever done to u


  40. 40

    Perez is right. she's a talantless hoe who's only in it for the money, than she'll go away for like 4-5 years when she needs extra cash and make more so-called music.

  41. 41

    she doesnt sound like Lana.. at all

  42. 42

    I really like her last album but she's almost unrecognizable. But do like her throw back to when she was a ballerina when she was young. Oh and she is nothing like lana… I would not compare the two they both are very distinct. Lana is a once in a lifetime natural talent, she's a genius. But Ashlee has her own fortés as well but they are two different worlds musically, lyrically, and vocally. I hope Ashlee keeps making music she's edgy and has a strong point of view.