One million, billion points for Gryffindor, Hermoine Granger.
Ch-ch-check out the incredible video (above) and if you want, you can read her entire speech HERE.
Looks like everyone and their nosy mama gets to see you boink your bff's ex for a little bit longer! At least!
After a judge heard Hulk Hogan's argument in court, he ruled against the bandana-wearing wrestler's preliminary motion to strip Gawker's rights to keep it online.
While this may not be the final say in this legal cage-match, it's definitely lowered the bets on Hulk.
Since the judge thinks there's really nothing left to protect of Hulk's privacy (the tape — and his peen — have been seen by basically everyone), he doesn't think pulling the tape now would do any good.
Still, Hulk remains hopeful… for $100M and the wiped-out memory of the planet. Yeah, good luck with that last part!
[Image via WENN.]