It's official! After fans have asked the right f*cking questions for months about who would star in the next season of True Detective, we finally have our answer!
Thank the turkey gods for their juicy mercy! Justin Bieber is gonna stay a free man!
Well, the dude in question apparently called the cops on Bieber, but Justin high tailed it outta there before authorities had arrived.
BUT, because of lack of evidence and various, conflicting witness accounts, it seems the LA County DA is NOT going to charge Selena's baby baby baby for supposedly beating up a photographer.
Oh it's gonna be the most happy of Turkey Days of Biebsy!!
He's NOT gonna have to stock up on soap on a rope AND we're sure Sweet Selenita is gonna make him gobble gobble by munching on his giblets!
[Image via AKM-GSI.]