Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
And this year's "Should've Thought This One Through A Little Better" Award goes to…
According to the police report, Halle Berry's ex actually started the brawl that turned his once-beautifully-chiseled face into something from Pablo Picasso's oft-forgotten about "black & blue" period!
Here's a portion of the filed report:
"Suspect [Gabriel] arrived at victim's [Olivier] residence for child custody exchange. Suspect and victim engaged in verbal altercation. Suspect became upset and attempted to punch victim's head but missed and struck victim's right shoulder instead. Victim returned with 3 punches to the suspect's head, causing him to fall to the ground. Victim's fiance [Halle] notified police."
Wow!! It only took three punches and a tumble to turn Gabe's face into a hopelessly bruised peach?
Remember not to invite Olivier to our next Fight Club meeting, LOLz!!
According to sources within the department, charges are unlikely to be filed against either combatant.
[Image via WENN & L.A. Superior Court.]