2012 was an insaaaAAAAAaaane year!
Between all the hookups, breakups, feuds, and legal dramz, it seems that only celebs really seem to have the chutzpah to say whatever is on their minds!
And we've gathered some of their most ridiculous and HIGHlarious quotes of 2012!
"I say to my daughter, 'That outfit is a little bit too risqué or revealing' and she looks at me and says, 'That's rich coming from you.'"
- Madonna to her 15-year-old daughter Lourdes Leon, January 2012
"[Our relationship is] very Sonny and Cher after the divorce."
- Jennifer Lopez talking about working with her ex-husband Marc Anthony, January 2012
"Would he be playing me, or is he playing Mark Wahlberg?"
- Reese Witherspoon addressing the rumor that Justin Bieber wanted to remake her 1996 film Fear, February 2012
"I do destroy men on a weekly basis. It's like a hobby. I'm like a praying mantis. They f*ck me, and then I eat them."
- Ke$ha on her relationships with men, February 2012
"It's almost as laughable as accusing Fox News of being news."
- Miss Piggy, in reference to Fox Business Network claiming that The Muppets had an anti-oil agenda for kids, February 2012
"I'm done with being a bitter witch."
- Adele after her big Grammy win, Feburary 2012
"I'm available to work with it any time."
- Charlize Theron talking about Michael Fassbender's huge penis, March 2012
"I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha. I have a lot of amniotic fluid so whenever my water breaks, it'll be like a fire hydrant."
- Jessica Simpson on her pregnancy, March 2012 (BTW, she's preggos again)
"I've forgotten that movie… it was a silly romcom."
- Richard Gere on his least favorite film he's made, Pretty Woman
"We do look very different, we're older. Leo's 37, I'm 36 — we were 21 and 22 when we made that film. You know, he's fatter now — I'm thinner."
- Kate Winslet on her and Leonardo DiCaprio's Titanic transformations, April 2012
"At the end of the day, I just know I'll probably have the worst, spoiled little kid ever."
- Jay-Z on baby Blue Ivy Carter, May 2012
"I'm waiting to find the right person, someone who's willing to take on the job."
- Prince Harry talking about finding his future wife
"She basically chokes me with her sn-tch."
- Colin Farrell, on his first fight scene with Total Recall co-star Kate Beckinsale, June 2012
"It's really funny, the last one. I mean, funny and completely insane. There's Jacob falling in love with my daughter, who grows into an 11-year-old in three months! There were so many scenes where it felt so bizarre."
- Robert Pattinson on the RIDICulousness of the final film of The Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part 2, June 2012
"That surprises me because I always feel like Darren [Criss]' mouth is on mine. Always. I feel like that is just another day at work."
- Chris Colfer in response to criticism that Glee doesn't show enough PDA (We could always use more!), June 2012
"I've kind of tried to adjust my life to have a little more private life. My life is very public and so I get that, but if you can choose to have a little bit of a private life I would choose that over other things now, where I probably wouldn't have before."
- Kim Kardashian on the importance of privacy.
"I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry."
- Kristen Stewart's public apology to boyfriend Robert Pattinson after her affair with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, July 2012
"The last time I had a bad breakup, Ben & Jerry's got me through some of the tougher times."
- Robert Pattinson to Jon Stewart after his breakup with Kristen Stewart, August 2012
"I want to be a doctor, a nurse, a hair saloner, a makeup saloner, work at Wal-Mart, work at Kmart, work at McDonald's where I can eat all the chicken nuggets and work at a hotel so I can go swimming. And I wanna be a mama too!"
- Honey Boo-Boo's career aspirations, August 2012
"I can tell you it's not about me."
- Joe Jonas on Taylor Swift's hit We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, August 2012
"I've never actually been brave enough to go and approach a guy that way…"
- Carly Rae Jepsen, when asked if she's ever asked a guy to "call her, maybe," August 2012
"Why did I get put in jail and Nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far?"
- Lindsay Lohan's tweet referring to Amanda Bynes' legal troubles, September 2012
"I'm not such a pervert."
- Author E.L. James responding to her critics of her wildly popular book 50 Shades of Grey, September 2012
"I plan to be done. But my husband is kind of a wonder sperm kind of guy."
- Thrice-sperminated Jennifer Garner speaking about her hubby Ben Affleck's magical sperm, September 2012
"I was the UN."
- Keith Urban joking about his position in the feud between fellow American Idol judges, Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj, October 2012
"That is one of the coolest things I've ever done. It is the day I think I became a man."
- Zac Efron on dancing in hid underwear in the rain with is Paperboy co-star Nicole Kidman, October 2012 (Oh Zac, be still our hearts!!!)
"She smells like roses and angel tears."
- Stephen Colbert after meeting the goddess herself, Oprah, October 2012
"I could find David Beckham naked in a cardboard box on my doorstep and I would drop him off at the pound."
- Olivia Wilde gushing over her beau Jason Sudeikis, October 2012
"[I'm] maybe too flirty. I'm an 18-year-old boy, and I like to have fun!"
- One Direction's Harry Styles on his need for female attention (LOLz!)
"Grown men were weeping. Hopefully it's because I didn't sound bad."
- Justin Timberlake when asked about his serenade to new wife Jessica Biel as she walked down the aisle, October 2012
"When I eventually looked in the mirror I just thought I looked like my gay brother."
- Anne Hathaway after cutting her hair short for her role in Les Misérables
"Impatient? Me? What a thing to suggest! Yes, of course I am. I'll run out of time soon. I shall have snuffed it if I'm not careful."
- Prince Charles becoming the longest waiting crown prince in his nation's history as he patiently waits for his mom/Her Royal Majesty to
die leave the throne
"I'm bored! I'm so bored!"
- Lindsay Lohan, as Elizabeth Taylor, expressing how all her viewers were feeling during Lifetime's Liz & Dick, November 2012
"With Angus' Hale-Bopp-like meltdown, it is radically clear to me that the show is cursed."
- Charlie Sheen in response to his former Two and a Half Men co-star Angus T. Jones' rant over the sitcom, December 2012
[Images via WENN.]