And we're at such a loss of words, we're going to let Miz Teigen tell you what went down:
Eeeek! Toilet explosions AND STD scares? How frightening!
But girl stomped her stilettoed foot down when they asked her to SMOOCH him numerous times in the scene!
Apparently, the chaotic cutie did not want to lock lips with the man-of-many-lovers because she was afraid it would be hazardous to her health.
AND we hear that both parties were forced to sign documents stating they did not have cold sores… eeeewwww.
But obviously, Lindsay's refusal to pucker up to Charlie's worldly mouth didn't seem to bother the tiger blood drinker, as he ended up gifting her $100,000 to alleviate her extreme money issues.
Fat lot of good it did.
But hey, at least he didn't give her anything in the form of nasty mouth lesions. Score one for Lindz!