Calum McSwiggan is adamant that he's not faking his alleged attack.
"I went to the police and now apparently I'm a criminal."
However, the police have revealed that they have video
[Image via Calum McSwiggan/Instagram.]
When Nick Stahl did the world the disservice of decongesting his clogged man-pipes in public, we wondered why the troubled actor couldn't just tend to his masturbatory duties at home like the rest of us?
Was the Terminator 3 star's computer in the shop? Is he downloading porn on a dial-up?!
It turns out we weren't the only curious kittens worried about his well-being!
Bangyoulater.com offered Nick a free iPad so he might attend to his "private business in a tranquil setting."
Ha! We're guessing Bangyoulater is a porn site and not a online drum warehouse, but who cares?! A free iPad is a free iPad!
Plus, don't those things come with GPS!? That could come in handy next time Nick gets lost!
[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]