WELCOME TO THE FIRST TABLOID SHOW OF 2013!!!
With the world still in tact and the celebrities still prancing around Tinsel Town like the modern greek gods and goddesses they are, the tabloid business is churning harder than ever for that delicious juice!
But with that latest KISSY FACE photo, clearly they're not that upset. You know… if they were really planning on eloping anyways. And we're kinda doubting that one… we're sure they got the memo about Brangelina's possible Caribbean Christmas ceremony.
The ever-interesting National Enquirer is showcasing the effects of Hollywood's best and worst diets! And since we all know your New Year's resolutions deal with body shape, some of these might be good to note!
You definitely don't wanna do anything in excess!
SPEAKING OF WEIGHTY ISSUES…
Kourtney Kardashian is going into even MORE detail on her post-baby health regimen! Gurl lost her baby weight and then some! But HOW did she do it!?! And HOW can people do it without a personal trainer?? Maybe UsWeekly has even MORE ultimate answers. LOLz!
MOVING ON TO MORE SCANDALOUS DRAMA…
Despite their various attempts to convince you of a happy marriage, Bruce and Kris Jenner are plagued with divorce rumors.
But please… we're so tired of this one already! Does anyone really believe they'd divorce while the show's still on the air?? C'mon now… especially not with all of those 'let's pose in the Christmas tree lot' pics!!
OMG LOOK… ANOTHER KARDASHIAN ON A TABLOID COVER…
This one's starring Khloe! And holy shiz — this one's NOT about a divorce from LOLO!!! Guess they can only handle one possible Kardashian divorce a week… HA!
According to Life&Style, she has an emotional IVF revelation, and oh… wait… they DO talk about her 'troubled' marriage. Sigh… so sad!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…
Okay, we know you wanna lower the calories in 2013, so we got you a fat-free treat instead. This 'Stars Without Makeup' cover of inTouch should be just enough motivation for your self-esteem to get into your best look yet!
Cuz we all look a lil' rough sometimes. But you know what these women look like on the red carpet too! So anything's possible people!! You just gotta take care of yourself and have the proper polishing tools when the time comes to go out with your heels!
SO THAT'S IT FOR THIS WEEK, FOLKS!
UNTIL NEXT TIME, LOVAHS… TELL US UR FAV TABBY TALE (below)!!