Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
We all knew the CRAZY was coming in a big way when it was announced that Pulitzer Prize-winning author Lawrence Wright would be releasing an expose on Scientology called Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & the Prison of Belief, but now that it's set to be released this week and is already garnering critical praise left and right, new details about just WHAT exactly goes down in the religious organization are spilling out…and they make the earlier excerpts regarding Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's marriage look like the paradigm of sanity and logic!
In fact, according to new details, the controversial actor, who has been praising Xenu since he was only 23, was able to rise to the top of Scientology because of his celebrity status and friendship with David Miscavige and now, is reportedly number three in the hierarchy!
“You don’t get it. It goes like this. First, there’s L. Ron Hubbard. Then, there’s COB [Chairman of the Board of the Religious Technology Center David Miscavige]. Then there’s me.”
And what does such a high, respected status in Scientology do for Tom?
It gives him a billion year contract, means to expel mental blockages caused by trauma that keep us oppressed and afraid, which would ultimately leave us "going clear" and unimpaired, so we can fight back against the alien entities that reside inside of all humanity and want to destroy the planet!
Oh, and of course, free renovations on his mansion by under-paid workers indentured to Scientology! How LOVELY!
But don't scold the actor, guys!
Those are all just small perks compared to the burden he must carry knowing the "truth" about the world in which we live, as well as the responsibility of having to convert the rest of humanity to his belief system!
As he apparently once proclaimed:
“Look. I wish the world was a different place. I’d like to go on vacation, and go and romp and play, you know what I mean? But I can’t. Because I know. I know. I have to do something about it. You can sit here and wish it was different, but there’s that moment where you go, ‘You know, I have to do something. Don’t I?’”
We can think of a FEW things you probably have to do.
Sadly, none of them involve expelling malevolent alien entities from society (like so!) and should instead probably focus on whatever void in yourself that you're attempting to fill with a money-hungry, controlling organization that has used your wealth and status to manipulate you into thinking you're some sort of salvation for humanity.
[Image via Imgur.]
Tags: aliens, author, conspiracy theories, crazy people, cult, david miscavige, expose, humanity, l ron hubbard, lawrence wright, naz boniadi, nicole kidman, pulitzer prize, scientology, tom cruise, xenu