Calum McSwiggan is adamant that he's not faking his alleged attack.
"I went to the police and now apparently I'm a criminal."
However, the police have revealed that they have video
[Image via Calum McSwiggan/Instagram.]
You SLAY us, George! You absolutely slay us!
We're surprised anything still surprises us in the era of vaginal rejuvenation, but, when George Clooney dropped this bomb, our jaw hit the floor as our terrified testies ran for cover!
Friends, you might want to sit down for this one — the man with a million-dollar smile is a "ball ironer."
“I never fixed my eyes, but I spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles. I did not like the wrinkles."
WHAT?! We've heard of wrinkle free Dockers, but a ball sack that never needs to be ironed?! Pure insanity!!
Did Stacy Keibler put you up to it?!
Or were you just jealous of Ben Affleck's newly polished golden globes? Ha!
The Argo star continued:
“It’s a new technique, many people in Hollywood have done it. It’s called ball ironing.”
Many Hollwood celebs have done it?!
Hrmmm, you had us going for a minute, Georgie — but we aren't sure we're buying it!
Of course, that depends on whether our insurance will cover it, LOLz!
[Image via WENN.]