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Every GLEE-Tail: All Shook Up By The Hook Ups!

| Filed under: GleeLea MicheleChris ColferDarren CrissRyan Murphy

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Guess who’s back? Back again!

You know, Gleeks. We actually started to forget what it felt like… to wake up in the morning and know that we’d get to spend an hour with our favorite showtune loving, mashup mixing, cool-as-hell underdogs on Glee.

Thank gawd it’s BACK!

Last night, Glee returned, perhaps not with a vengeance, but with the first real signs of some serious drama coming our way this season, from Lima to New York. Yeah, sure, we watched every single major couple break up this season … but that was almost like knocking over a Jenga tower. Blocks have been scattered about, but they could be easily put back together again.

Unless of course the pieces hit it off with the puzzle pieces and the blocks that usually go on the top now want to cannoodle with the blocks on the bottom and the old blocks from your first set are trying to squeeze in next to the new blocks your Aunt May got you in September…

Is this metaphor working? Maybe not. Maybe we’ll just get to the recap…

WARNING: THERE BY SPOILERS AHEAD, MATEY! IF YE BE FIXIN’ TO WATCH YER SHOW LATER, UM … DAMN IT, WE LOST OUR PIRATE SPEECH! AH, YOU KNOW THE DRILL. DON’T READ AHEAD UNLESS YOU WANT TO KNOW.

Last night’s episode was called Sadie Hawkins, which for those of you at home who didn’t grow up wearing saddle shoes, is the name of a “girls-ask-boys” shindig. There’s some crazy love connections going on at McKinley High, starting with Tina “Other Asian” Cohen-Chang, who has set her sights on… Blaine.

Oooh! We felt the chill of a 1000 Klaine fans get real icy!

For obvious reasons, Blaine has to assure Tina that they can only be friends, but in a twist that no one everyone saw coming, Blaine reveals that he has a thing for… SAM!

And if THAT weren’t enough to put Klaine fans into a frenzy, Kurt kicks off his first week as a new NYADA student and what does he find… a new love interest! (By the way, at this point, if you’re near someone who ships Klaine, you should remove yourself and find protective shelter.) While McKinley gears up for it’s first annual ladies-taking-the-lead dance, Kurt is learning that his new college isn’t so much different from his old high school. Ironically, even in an arts college, joining the show choir is considered committing social suicide. Nevertheless, Kurt is charmed by the group’s leader, Adam and by episodes end, they are officially off on their first date.

Speaking of storylines that won’t die, Rachel is all about Brody … and not much else. Remember when Finn originally was all weirded out by Miz Berry, thinking she was really clingy and crazy with her cat calendars? Yeah, Brody is like three seconds away from having his own calendar printed, as well as the next 50 years planned out for him. Things almost go awry for him and Rach after he shows up 45 mins late for dinner. He sweet talks his way out of fight … and she asks him to move in with her, without a second thought. Can’t wait to see how Kurt feels about that!

Back at McKinely, the love is blooming for just about everyone. Sugar rekindles her fleeting romance with Artie. Newbies Marley and Jacob finally become a thing. Puck downgrades from cougar hunter to cradle robber by hooking up with Kitty. AND… WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT… Joe starts getting friendly with the one, and only, LAUREN ZIZIES! Bitches who weren’t CHEERING to see her face again may step to the left and leave! Hell to every yeah!

But now, aside from this game of love roulette was one very interesting new twist in the storyling. We’re sure many of you have been following all the startling revelations about Lance Armstrong’s drug use and the shame of his doping practices revealed on Oprah. Well, something exactly like that happened on Glee. Oh yes, did you know if you take steroids, you can be a better show choir?! Yeah, we didn’t either, but supposedly, those Dalton Warblers we all juiced up at Sectionals … and not in the cutesy way that the New Directions were in “Vitamin D.” (We have to rewatch that episode! Good times!)

So, now that Sam has uncovered this piece of intel, the Warblers are at risk of being disqualified… and wouldn’t you know it, that puts the New Directions back in the competition! How convenient! And who else thinks that Nationals will end up back in New York this year, providing the perfect backdrop to reunite the whole cast together for the last two episodes?

Um, we do! We do! Don't fail us now, Ryan Murphy!

Next week… Dianna Agron RETURNS! And Lea Michele gets NAKED!

Wake up, Faberry fans! This is your episode! LOL!

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One comment to “Every GLEE-Tail: All Shook Up By The Hook Ups!”

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    1

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