Oh no, the once-adorbzies actor was so badly injured!!
After Sunday's severe bar beat-down, Jason London finds himself in an unbelievably messy situation!!
And we are not talking about the doodie in his Dockers!
The 40-year-old actor suffered severe injuries to both his body and his image, including an orbital fracture in his right eye and a stained — no poopy puns intended — reputation!
He's fighting back, though!
Well, not literally, of course!
He swears he never engaged in fisticuffs, and he sent us the EXCLUSIVE proof in pics of his unsoiled hands (below)!
Jason's representative denied many of the nasty allegations made against him when they contacted us to make an EXCLUSIVE statement!
"Jason's injuries are consistent with a brutal attack with deliberately and expertly aimed landed shots to the head which, according to eyewitnesses, continued even after he was unconscious."
Whoa! We never condone violence! Especially against the unconscious!
The rep continued issuing the Dazed & Confused star's defense:
“The charges against Jason indicate that he is the assailant… [but] Jason does not have one bump, bruise, red mark – not so much as a scratch – on his hands."
Hmm. If Jason didn't swing on the Martini Ranch bouncers, as the police report indicates, how did the brawl unfold?
Unfortunately, the rep never explained that one! Womp…
The bar owner, for what it's worth, stands by his enforcers.
"We stand behind our security staff… The truth will come out and show that the comments by Mr. London and his people are clearly inaccurate."
We hope the truth DOES come out!!
And then we hope a made-for-TV movie comes out too, LOLz!!
Jason London: Scottsdale Sharter! Now that's one crappy film we'd pay to see!
Tags: arizona, arrested, bar brawl, bouncers, dazed and confused, fight, icky icky diaper poo, jason london, legal matters, martini ranch, mugshot hall of fame, police, pooping, scottsdale