Mercy! What the hell happened last night on Glee?
Well, we’re going to tell you…. And be prepared to have the following reactions:
“Aww!” “YAY!” “’Bout time!” and finally, “OMG?! WTF?! HIT REWIND! DID THAT JUST HAPPEN???”
Yeah, Ryan Murphy took things in one direction that was completely expected, and another direction NO ONE saw coming. So, as we dive into this, be ready to be completely shocked by our final paragraph.
WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! AND ONES YOU DIDN’T SEE COMING WHILE TALKING OUT THE SEASON WITH ALL YOUR OTHER GLEEK FRIENDS. THIS IS SOME REALLY CRAZY, TWISTY PLOTS WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
It’s time for the annual McKinely Diva-Off, coming to you in a simultaneous telecast from Lima, OH and Manhattan.
First off, in our fave sleepy Ohio town, Finn decides to pump up the spirits of New Directions with Diva Week. But he is not alone in this endearvour. Joining him are Emma Pillsbury (pamphlets at the ready) and… Santana! Ah, but that spicy Latina has ulterior motives for showing up at her old alma mater. Turns out, she’s heard through the Tina grapevine that Sam is dating her beloved Brittany, and she’s back in town to fight for her woman.
Before she gets her throwndown, however, Sue corners her to finagle a confession that she dropped out of school a month ago. She then makes our Lima Shuttle joke (biter!) and then offers Santana a job as her assistant Cheerios coach. But that doesn’t really pan out for Sandy, who by episode's end, has a heart-to-heart with Brittany on where they stand. When it’s clear the pair will never be anything more than friends ever again, Santana makes an
unlikely already forseen decision.
But more on that in a minute… elsewhere in McKinley, Tina is still trying to get Blaine to love her, despite the fact that, you know, he’s gay. Ah, the blinders of youth! So, Stalker Tina, as she will now be known as, wants to make Blaine her man slave and starts by trying to nurse him back to health when he comes down with a cold. She brings him soup and medicine, and in his drugged out state, Tina finds the courage to tell him she loves him, which totally doesn't hear because of the magical alcohol in his cold medicine. So what does Stalker Tina do? She starts undressing him and mounts him in the most uncomfortable way possible to apply vapor rub, all while crying her eyes out. This then prompts her to not only find her inner diva (she did look FIERCE in that Madonna outfit) and somehow, her newfound divaliciousness lands her a date with Blaine to the big Wemma wedding. Oh yeah, you forgot about that, didn’t you? You’re not going to in a second. But first….
Once again, the New York storyline suffered being the B-story, at best, as Rachel and Kurt face off in yet another Diva Off. Kurt finally confesses he threw the first round back in season one and is ready to defeat Ms. Berry in the upcoming Midnight Madness, NYADA's semiannual blood sport where two singers enter and only one survives. After performing a sensational duet to "Bring Him Home" from Les Miserables, Rachel is crushed to watch Kurt be crowned victorious. But, being the better friend that he is, Kurt reminds her that being the best isn’t everything, not if you don’t have friends to share the glory with, and that she will always be a class act diva because her talent is just so immense! The hugged, all is right with the world, knock at the door… and Santana is there, bags in hand, ready to move in. In classic Santana fashion, she doesn't even ask — she just plops her stuff down and boom!
Is everyone happy now? You got your wish! Santana is in New York! One down, like three more to go. Now, try to hold onto that happy feeling while we finish this recap out. Here’s where things get WEIRD!
Will Schuester is still playing Mr. Washington, leaving poor OCD Emma to plan their entire wedding alone — a wedding that is less than a week away. Finn, being the best man, offers to help her out, but it seems like she’s more of a babysitter to him and his broken heart, now that he’s found out that Rachel has moved in with Brody. But the tables
turn spin out of control when Emma has a wedding day freak out … and Finn kisses her on the LIPS!
EMMA. FINN. KISSING?!?!?!?!
Oh yeah, Ryan went there. Why? We don’t know! Will and Emma have been apart all season; wasn’t that torment for them enough? And how are they going to resolve this in time for the wedding to happen? Wait, is that not happening NOW??? UGH! And did anyone think of what this is going to do to the Finnchel fans? And the WEMMA fans?! The Brittana and Klaine fans are already revolting — was this REALLY necessary???
So, we guess next week… a wedding, MAYBE?!
The uncertainty! We don’t like it!!!