There's no way we could be this lucky... right?!
[Image via Instagram.]
How foolish we were to think that we could possibly go more than a DAY without some sort of DRAMA from Lindsay Lohan!
To be fair, of course, the troubled starlet has kept a pretty low profile since it was revealed that she can't even afford to rent an apartment, and this time around, it's her equally tiresome parents, Michael and Deviant Dina, causing the shenanigans!
What kind of shenanigans, you may ask?
Oh, the typical fare from two adults who have periodically exploited their children for press and financial gain: they both have publishing deals in the works for potential TELL-ALL books!
Sources report that Dina has planned a memoir that will chronicle the alleged abuse she endured at the hands of her ex-husband, while Michael intends to to focus his writing more blatantly on Lindsay, with its tentative title reportedly I’m Not Your Daddy Dearest: If I Can Turn My Life Around, Lindsay Can Turn Hers!
Really rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?
Of course, the Father of the Millennium can't go for than 15 seconds without trashing his ex, and recently chimed in on the news of her Long Island home going into foreclosure with:
“Dina loves the word Karma and now AGAIN, she is feeling the wrath of God – it is ALL coming back to her! All the lies about rape, abuse, being a single mother for years, me having no relationship with my kids and more! It’s a shame that Dina lives in such a lonely and dark world of lies and deception! The foreclosure is only the beginning, because she has about 10 judgments against her, amounting to over a million dollars and $100,000 to me! [I] just sent Dina another $8,500 that she said she needed for [son] Cody’s school and the house. Dina doesn’t report any of the money I SEND HER [for] child support or the kids…[or] apparently … use it [to pay] for the house! Dina might just have to move back to her mom’s house. Some people have to be brought to their knees to learn and turn it around.”
Sorry, we dozed off halfway through reading all that nonsense!
Did we miss anything new? Nope?
Okay, moving on!
So much for his recent assertion that he could let go of the past now that he and Kate Major have welcomed a son into the world!
And that's REALLY all we have to say about this whole impending literary disaster.
Because frankly, it just makes us nauseous!
Happy writing, you two!
[Image via WENN.]
Tags: child, crazy people, dina lohan, domestic abuse, dysfunctional family, father, foreclosure, girlfriend, home, infant, kate major, lindsay lohan, long island, memoir, michael lohan, publishing deals, self-help, tell-all