It's official! After fans have asked the right f*cking questions for months about who would star in the next season of True Detective, we finally have our answer!
Umm first of all.. no.
No way in hell will we ever believe that the golden adonis known as Brad Pitt will ever have any problems — aside from his lapses in memory when it comes to beard-shaving.
So you can imagine our appalling *GASP* when we saw that The National Enquirer was saying something bad about Brad!
Boo!! This smells like total bullshizz!!
We heard she was seen smoking a joint in public, but jeez! We hope she's okay!
Did you see what Life&Style is saying about Melissa Gorga cheating on Joe!?!
BUT SERIOUSLY NOW…
Kate Middleton actually has something cooking inside of her — the royal heir! And yet Globe wants to say that someone actually has the audacity to bug her new home!
Screwing with a pregnant princess has its consequences… we're sure, LOL!! This is no time to play Rupert Murdoch!
We're not sure which was more upsetting — news of spies or the preggo-tummy pics from the spying paps on their Babymoon!
Yes, the Kardashians made it another week plastered on the front page of a tabloid! Well, actually, this time it's just the Jenners!
But kinda the same thing, no?
Even though it's been sworn that Kris Jenner will never ever divorce Bruce, the ghost of Todd Waterman's peen just won't leave her alone!
NOW IN NON KARDASHIAN NEWS…
As you know, Robin Roberts has struggled with cancer, but her path to recovery is so inspiring, People decided to make her the cover story!
Hey gurl! Soak that motivation up! You deserve it!
THAT'S ALL THIS WEEK, GUYS! TIL NEXT TIME FOLKS!! KISS KISS!!!
[Image courtesy of The National Enquirer.]