Talk about going out with a bang!!!
“I was sick. And mentally that messes with you,” said Lohan.
Lindsay did not reveal who the intended father was.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
What do YOU think about Lohan's big revelation????
But his nerves are no excuse for some of the tactless jokes he was telling during last night's Oscars!
Seth's painfully long, self-obsessed monologue (above) was solely about him worrying about being a bad host — a self fulfilling prophecy, perhaps? — and included an entire song about seeing boobs, which Seth concluded with a "no-homo" joke.
The rest of the night consisted of one inappropriate joke after the other.
HOWEVER, we will say this: anyone who has ever seen Family Guy, American Dad, or The Cleveland Show knows that Seth stayed true to the comedic format that's made him famous.
All of his popular cartoons feature MAJORLY offensive jokes, and while some gags can go too far, the whole point of the shows (to us at least) is to poke fun at people and push the comfort zone of viewers.
But obviously, that type of comedy did NOT work for the Oscars.
We also find it rather funny that the Academy even asked Seth to host — have they seen Family Guy? He's been SO nasty to almost every celeb in that audience!
Rihanna & Chris Brown
"[Django Unchained] is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who's been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie."
Jennifer Aniston & Channing Tatum:
"Our next two presenters, at least one is honest about being a former exotic dancer. Please welcome Channing Tatum and Jennifer Aniston."
Ben Affleck & The Kardashians:
"This man has gone from starring in "Gigli" to becoming one of the most respected filmmakers of this generation. I feel like we're six months away from having to call him le Benjamin Affleck. I thought we'd cut this joke but really, want to do it? First time I saw him with all that dark facial hair I thought, my god, the Kardashians have finally made the jump to film."
Quvenzhane Wallis & George Clooney:
"So let me just address those of you up for an award, so you got nominated for an oscar, something a 9-year-old could do! She's adorable, Quvenzhane. She said to me backstage. "I really hope I don't lose to that old lady, Jennifer Lawrence." To give you an idea how young she is it'll be 16 years before she's too old for Clooney."
Daniel Day Lewis and his method acting:
"If you bumped into Don Cheadle in the studio lot, would you try and free him?"
Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayeck's accents:
"We’ve reached that point where Javier Bardem, Salma Hayek or Penelope Cruz takes the stage and we have no idea what they’re saying but we don’t care because they’re so attractive."
Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty:
"And how great was Jessica Chastain in "Zero Dark Thirty"? Yeah. Playing a woman who spends almost 12 years tracking Osama Bin Laden. Twelve years. The film was a triumph and also a celebration of every woman's innate ability to never ever let anything go."
Women pretending to have the flu to fit into their Oscar dresses:
"For all those women who had the 'flu.' it paid off. Lookin' good."
Yeah… see what we mean?