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Charlie Sheen Wants To Be Lindsay Lohan's MENTOR! Discusses "Kinship" With Troubled Starlet!

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanFilm FlickersCharlie SheenBestiez

charlie lindsay mentor


Now that Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin have said good-bye to 30 Rock, we guess it's time for a new Liz Lemon/Jack Donaghy-esque mentorship!

Even if this one ends up saturated in freckles, booze and tiger blood!

As we all know by now, it appears that Charlie Sheen has taken a liking to his Scary Movie 5 co-star Lindsay Lohan, as he's not only gifted her $100,000 to cover her troubles with the IRS, but offered to pay for her amfAR Gala gown and given her work as a guest star on his FX series Anger Management!

Given their long list of well-documented personal and legal troubles, it's no surprise that these two can relate to each other, but now, the MaSheen is hoping to take their relationship one step further…by offering to be the hard-pAArtying starlet's MENTOR, in order to guide her back into a professionally successful and ideally-drama-free lifestyle!

He says:

"I have a kinship with somebody [Lindsay] who clearly needs a mentor, whether she wants one or not. She can continue to hang out with her dress shredding club buddies, or turn to me for some advice from a guy who's been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey. If she listens, she'll win. If she doesn't, that's on her. I love her, I respect her, and I've never laid a finger on her that wasn't on film. How ya like me now, America?"

HA! Well, Charlie, we like you just fine!

And frankly, we think that if anyone can get through to her and set her as close to the straight-and-narrow as she'll ever feasibly get, HE at least has a better chance than her destructive parents OR her fool of a lawyer, Mark Heller!

We suggest you take this offer and consider it LONG and HARD, Lindsay!

There's very few people left who think trying to help you isn't a massive waste of time and energy!

Fingers crossed that you make the right choice!

[Images via WENN.]

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11 comments to “Charlie Sheen Wants To Be Lindsay Lohan's MENTOR! Discusses "Kinship" With Troubled Starlet!”

  1. The horror says – reply to this


    Good lord if these two had a baby…

    …I can't even imagine ..

  2. 2

    Charlie doesn't care about Lindsay. He only cares about being in the spotlight and since Two & a Half Men blew up and the cameras moved away from him when he came out of his meltdown, he's been doing everything he can think of to get the attention back on himself. Lindsay's a top story right now so he's just trying to jump on the bandwagon and get in on the attention. All he's done so far is give her money then he goes on talk shows to tell everyone about it, which continues to enable her and is just a PR "aren't I a great guy?" move on his part. He's a loser and for him to think he can mentor or help anyone is a joke. Blind leading the blind.

  3. 3

    enabler !!! he's got money and dope so of course she's going for it. what addict wouldn't???

  4. 4

    She's a hooker, and he's a hooker-lover. match made in…tiger blood!

  5. @v@ says – reply to this


    At least one person should tell her what she needs to hear. Hopefully it's not the blind leading the blind, but he'd certainly be more objective and honest than her parents.

  6. Be-Atch says – reply to this


    IF they had a kid, it would be, well…let us just say 'not quite right' … Crack baby, as it were. They both have done so many drugs - Gawd ! They could have opened up 20 orphanges in Africa for all the $$$ they have spent on drugs…..She really needs a good smack across her fugly bo-toxed face.

  7. Be-Atch says – reply to this


    She is fer sure a strawberry….does sex for coke…I would imagine…fugly ugly skank……

  8. 8

    to quote the starkist commercial,,,SORRY CHARLIE

  9. Bevi says – reply to this


    They were made for each other. I can't even imagine hanging for a day with Charlie. You would end the day thinking he was really "off" and it's the same with Lindsay. Spend one day with her and you would need to go off into nature to connect with the world again, bathe in a waterfall, ground yourself. Cleanse yourself…. These 2 people are exactly the same type and aren't good for each other. But then again, who would they be good for? And there is no one who could be good for them because they are beyond looking past themselves. Grim, grim, grim!

  10. Angela Hodgson says – reply to this


    i dunno about this mentorship thing, I was lovingly mentored by my great uncle Wilhelm Canaris, and look how I turned out….. AMH Well, I am single with a dog for a best friend, i sit around the house all day eating amazingly healthy food and smokin em all day long…… Yes, I do walk my dog, but reallly, it is quite a stress-free life..

  11. NE1 says – reply to this


    This is all well and good, but she doesn't need a mentor, she needs money. And a lot of it, she blows through millions a year.