Christie Dawn Harris doesn't need pockets!
She stores knick-knacks in the holes God gave her!
The 28-year-old woman was arrested yesterday in Oklahoma while loitering in a parking lot with drugs and related paraphernalia, but the real craziness is what happened after cops made her change into prison garb!
When she stripped naked, one cop noticed something unusual — a gun sticking a few inches out of Christie's vajayjay!
"I observed at that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area… [I] pulled the item from her vagina, and found it to be a 5 shot revolver with rounds in the chamber.”
Who hides a weapon in their wet cave of wonders?!
We've heard of being pu**y-whipped, but no one told us they could fire bullets!
Yikes!! We knew there was a reason we avoided messing with those lovely lady parts, LOLz JK!!
But wait — it gets WORSE!
When cops turned Christie around they were equally stunned to find more contraband dangling from her butt-crack!
No, they weren't dingleberries! They were baggies of meth!
The perp was smuggling speed in her behind, too!!!
Oh, Crystal. We don't know where to begin.
With a shower, maybe! This case is so nasty we need to get clean!!
[Image courtesy of Oklahoma Police Department.]