You know what? We’re just going to come out and say it – what the hell happened in last night’s Glee?
No, no. There was no major plot twist that boggled our minds or some truth bomb that changed the course of the entire season. There was, however, Chord Overstreet in puffy sleeves, Lea Michele running and slow motion, and A LOT of tiny, neon booty shorts.
Yeah, last night’s Glee was more of what you would probably call a jukebox episode, one more about the music than developing any kind of plot. So, in all honesty, you didn’t miss too much – except for the incomparable Darren Criss crooning at the piano (possibly live?) and the first ever performance of the Spice Girls!
Which is still a lot to miss in our estimation, but we’re guilty of being freakin’ hardcore Gleeks! So, maybe you shouldn’t go by us.
Still, we’ll catch you up on what did happen, if for nothing more than the chuckles and the smiles!
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! NOTHING TO CRAY CRAY, BUT STILL WORTH AVOIDING IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE EPISODE UNTARNISHED! BE GONE WITH YOU IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW!
Sorry, Blaine + Sam = Not Happening
Yeah, we can hear your sighs from here, Blam fans. But honestly, did you really think that Ryan Murphy was going to go there? Okay, maybe you did (it has seemed like tumblr has been writing the last few episodes), but the line had to be drawn somewhere. Why it had to be here and not Artie scoring with yet another one of the Glee chicks… but we digress.
With Schue giving Finn the boot last week and now falling ill himself, the Glee kids are without a leader, so Sam and Blaine decide to take up the reigns. They decide to have the group own up to their musical guilty pleasures, which includes everyone from Wham to Barry Manilow to the Spice Girls – yeah, someone’s been weeding through their parent’s CD collection. (Kids, a CD is what music came on BEFORE the Internet and iTunes.)
While all of this is delightfully entertaining, it also is lending itself to have Blaine admit he has feelings for Sam, which he has great difficulty doing. In an attempt to share his true feelings, he sits down at the piano to sing the Phil Collins classic Against All Odds. Maybe that didn’t make Sam fall in love with him, BUT IT SURE GOT OUR HEART RACING!!! REPEAT!! REWIND!!! PAUSE AND SWOON!!!
By episodes end, Sam says what Blaine can’t and admits that he knows he has feelings for him. So, why go through all this trouble? Duh! Oh wait, we actually don’t really know… for the sake of the music, we guess? Oh no wait, we know now. Getting it out in the open makes it easier for Blaine to move on from it… but not completely, because Sam likes the attention. So, there’s that.
Brody’s Lies CREEEEEEP Up On Him, As Rachel Learns The Truth
Remember last week when Finn showed up in New York to defend Rachel’s honor against Brody Bigolo, Male Gigolo? Yeah, no one felt the need to tell Rachel anything about it. Instead, at the beginning of the episode, she is quite literally trampsing around, saying “why me?!” after Brody breaks up with her for no reason.
Finally, Santana gets around to telling her Lima bud the sitch and Rachel furiously confronts Brody about his night job. In turn, he accuses her of never being honest about their relationship and lying about sleeping with Finn on Valentine’s Day (wait, did we miss something? We thought she was totally upfront about that!). Anyway, Rachel admits Brody was right – she was using him, first to make Finn jealous and then to ease her own breaking heart. So, with nothing left for either of them, they part ways via Radiohead’s Creep (no sh*t, Thom Yorke? You say yay?!) and Rachel determines its time to start anew, starting with preparing for her Funny Girl audition… and possibly dating older men.
E’rebody In The Club Getting Ditsy
Elsewhere, Jake is beat down (pun intended) by his song choices from the week, which include Chris Brown and then Bobby Brown, Kitty decides to be nicer to fellow Glee clubs members (something we thought was established last week when they had that lower classmen pow-wow) and Sugar apparently has dissolved in water somewhere, because not only is she nowhere to be seen, but now Artie has his eyes on Kitty Kat.
And none for
Gretchen Wieners Tina Cohen Chang!
Next week… OH YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING US! ANOTHER THREE WEEK HIATUS! NOT FAIR!!!!
[Image via FOX.]
Tags: blaine, brody, chord overstreet, darren criss, every glee-tail, fox, glee, guilty pleasures, lea michele, rachel berry, radiohead, recap, ryan murphy, warblers