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Lindsay Lohan ThisClose To JAIL! "Lockdown" Rehab Is A Beautiful, Dark, Twisted FANTASY!

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanOops!Legal MattersBusted!Rehab

lindsay lohan no lockdown rehab ny jail plea deal

Lindsay Lohan's lawyer Mark Heller may not be the best at his chosen profession…

But it seems he would make a wonderful creative writer!

And his first book can be about a troubled starlet's search for the mysterious land of "lockdown rehab" LOLz!

We previously posted that Lilo's proposed "lockdown" rehabilitation facility detailed in her lying-to-cops plea bargain doesn't actually exist in New York — the state where she's choosing to spend her 90 days of mandated confinement…

But it actually seems her legal representation is even more incompetent than we'd thought, cause there are apparently NO treatment centers in the US that force patients to stay (outside of prison)!!!

Lindsay's plea deal initially called for jail time, but the Judge ALLOWED the redhead to serve that time in "lockdown" rehab… so unless her legal team comes up with ANOTHER wacky alternative, girl will most likely land in the SLAMMER.

But seeing as Lindsay doesn't even think she NEEDS rehab (although she was allegedly caught sippin' on vodka this past weekend!), this is probably a GOOD thing, right?!

However, based on what's happened in the past, we HIGHly doubt Lindsay will EVER spend more than a week behind bars…sigh.

We are VERY intrigued to see what trick Mark will undoubtably pull out of his sleeve next!

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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9 comments to “Lindsay Lohan ThisClose To JAIL! "Lockdown" Rehab Is A Beautiful, Dark, Twisted FANTASY!”

  1. 1

    One week late with this one…

    And you really think the judge accepted the plea bargain eyes closed, without checking ?
    Ah !

  2. NoOne says – reply to this


    Maybe instead of confining them as criminals, US should treat drug addiction as a mental health issue. Works successfully in other countries

  3. nik says – reply to this


    She should just go to jail. If she uses Bobbi Brown as an example he has what like 5 DUI charges and only served 8 hours. She'll be out in a day and can resume her drinking and adderall habit.

  4. 4

    how could her "attorney" and the judge have made such an oversight???

  5. Karen says – reply to this


    Rehabs are medical treament centers. There's no such thing as a lockdown in the US. But don't worry, the prosecutor seems hellbent on not sending her to jail, so they'll give her an anklet again & you'll still have plenty of photos to gossip about for the next 90 days.

  6. DO YA THINK? says – reply to this


    Re: NoOne – The problem is an issue with personal responsibility vs. "disease" model. People who put the poison in there systems willingly are seen as MAKING THE CHOICE to be an addict. And, to some extent that is true. But there is a point where the drug becomes so routinely a part of the addicts blood chemistry, that the bodies "organs," need the substance in order to know "what to do". My 2 cents is that addiction starts out as a selfish indulgence with "fun" toxins, and at some point the toxin takes over and hijacks the body. Totally Invasion Of The Body Snatchers kind of thing. Well, i didnt actually see the movie, but the titles a winner, a total sumation.

  7. Punishment says – reply to this


    Punishment is not effective in behavior modification goals when the person being punished doesnt comprehend their genuine error. Thats where we are at with this situation. She can't figure out WHAT she did that was so wrong that she needs to go, like, all the way to JAIL for. Now, might a quiet-time/time-out in the pokey bring reality to light? It might, and it could also make a confused person worse. There is nothing short of luck -that will save a human being from failing in his goals- if he is dependant on SOLVING A PROBLE THAT HE CANNOT NOT UNDERSTAND. When lilo says she doesnt think she has a substance problem, she MEANS it.

  8. by the way, says – reply to this


    It's JJF. watching the board, cause a friend of mine sometimes orbits here. What it is, Hollywood!

  9. TO NOONE/DO YOU THINK? says – reply to this


    dear noone. When I read my post as it appears on screen, i thought my title sounded like a bitch-slap at ya, and it wasnt meant that way. More like, two Saturday Night Live players sitting ata table in a coffee shop, going, "yeeaah, totally righteous on that one, BFF, totally, like, nailed it, like, DO YA THINK? Yuu, shuu!" I totally meant it like that. Just sayin, cause its really easy to hurt someones feelings on the Internet when someone thinks your trying to be mean to them when your really not trying to be mean at all. Like, sshhuuu! jjf.