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Lindsay Lohan ThisClose To JAIL! "Lockdown" Rehab Is A Beautiful, Dark, Twisted FANTASY!

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanOops!Legal MattersBusted!Rehab

lindsay lohan no lockdown rehab ny jail plea deal

Lindsay Lohan's lawyer Mark Heller may not be the best at his chosen profession…

But it seems he would make a wonderful creative writer!

And his first book can be about a troubled starlet's search for the mysterious land of "lockdown rehab" LOLz!

We previously posted that Lilo's proposed "lockdown" rehabilitation facility detailed in her lying-to-cops plea bargain doesn't actually exist in New York — the state where she's choosing to spend her 90 days of mandated confinement…

But it actually seems her legal representation is even more incompetent than we'd thought, cause there are apparently NO treatment centers in the US that force patients to stay (outside of prison)!!!

Lindsay's plea deal initially called for jail time, but the Judge ALLOWED the redhead to serve that time in "lockdown" rehab… so unless her legal team comes up with ANOTHER wacky alternative, girl will most likely land in the SLAMMER.

But seeing as Lindsay doesn't even think she NEEDS rehab (although she was allegedly caught sippin' on vodka this past weekend!), this is probably a GOOD thing, right?!

However, based on what's happened in the past, we HIGHly doubt Lindsay will EVER spend more than a week behind bars…sigh.

We are VERY intrigued to see what trick Mark will undoubtably pull out of his sleeve next!

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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