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Tennessee Official Frequently Drove 90 Mph With His Dong Dangling Out The Window?!

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooWacky, Tacky & TrueLegal Matters

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We… we… don't even know what to say?!

William Blakely, a former Vice-Mayor in Creepyville Mount Carmel, Tennessee sat in court today listening to testimony from a slew of victims who swear he spent the past four years speeding around town committing a series of lewd and illegal acts!

Multiple witness allege wicked Willie would drive at speeds in excess of 90 mph, stare down women on the road, pull out his penis, masturbate, and sometimes even let his penis hang loose OUT THE WINDOW!

Today in court, eye-witness Kelly Street testified:

"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]… he was masturbating… and that's when it got really, really bad. I wouldn't look over any more, and I wrote his tag number down on my hand, which I believe he noticed, and he exited very quickly."

Ugh! While we appreciate the skills he must possess as a contortionist, this kind of behavior is dangerous and disgusting!! He's lucky no one was hurt!!

We have so many unanswered questions!!

Why would anyone do that!? How can a man hand-crank his own shank and concentrate on the road at the same time?! Did Willie Jr. wear a helmet while he whistled in the wind?

Big Willie faces charges of Blakely faces charges of indecent and reckless endangerment and criminal attempt to commit aggravated assault.

[Image via WJHL.]

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5 comments to “Tennessee Official Frequently Drove 90 Mph With His Dong Dangling Out The Window?!”

  1. Candy Barr says – reply to this


    1

    How long is his schlong that he could leave it hanging out the window?



  2. 2

    Re: Candy Barr – I was wondering about that, seems like doing something like that would involve some real acrobatics. The bottom of my window on the driver's side has to be a good 2 or 2.5 feet above the seat. Sounds like a creep but who knows.

  3. terija says – reply to this


    3

    Drive by me, drive by me, drive by me!

  4. Bevi says – reply to this


    4

    Imagination just doesn't do it. We need to see him in action to be able to understand how it could even be done.



  5. 5

    One has to wonder what weird position he had to get into to let it hang out the window, especially while driving 90 MPH, AND masturbating. It sounds damn near impossible…