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LAPD Unveils Lame New Plan To Combat 'Swatters'!

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooJustin TimberlakeAshton KutcherLegal MattersRyan SeacrestDiddyRussell BrandSelena GomezJustin Bieber

lapd unveils swatting plan miley cyrus justin timberlake selena gomez

It's cool, y'all — they've got a plan!

SPOILER ALERT: It's weaker than a watered down cup of decaf!

Miley Cyrus, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, and the other A-list "swatting" victims can theoretically relax because the El Lay Pee Dee is on the case!!

But how does the po-po intend to stop malicious pranksters from phoning in fake emergencies at celeb mansions in an effort to trick S.W.A.T. teams into charging in, guns-a-blazin'?

Cmdr. Andrew Smith revealed the forces brilliant new directive:

"It's our belief that the perpetrators of these false police reports are motivated entirely by the publicity these calls receive. We intend to reduce or eliminate that motivation."

So, your big idea is to ignore the problem?

To stop talking about it and hope the assailants get BORED?

Sorry, LAPD, we are not comforted by that at all!!

And we doubt that's helping Ryan Seacrest, Diddy, Ashton Kutcher, Russell Brand, Justin Bieber, or any of the other high-profile targets sleep more soundly, either!

Hopefully these pranksters are found and brought to justice before anyone is seriously hurt!!!

[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]

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4 comments to “LAPD Unveils Lame New Plan To Combat 'Swatters'!”

  1. 1

    With all the tracking these days - there is no way in hell that they are clueless about these calls, right? I figured they'd justify hiring more police because of this phenomenon. Why else would they go to all the trouble?

  2. Boo says – reply to this


    It's kind of like modern day serial killers. They want their name in the news and be famous. Instead of talking about the killers, we should be talking about the victims. I get what the police are thinking. If they don't talk to the news about it then the perpetrator doesn't get his/her glory. Then they might have to brag about it to people who will hopefully turn them in.

  3. beach says – reply to this


    What do you suggest they do Perez? Now you are also an expert on what cops should do? Some day, and it will happen I will bet, someone comes after you and your kid because there are a lot of people that truly dislike you, and then maybe you'll shut your mouth when you need their help, You cross so many lines to make a buck getting hits on this site it's amazing, It will bite you in the ass someday.

  4. Jake says – reply to this


    This swatting crap is pathetic.