But we're just going to have to do the usual freakout, since she's still underage...
[Image via Kylie Jenner/Instagram.]
Even though Lindsay Lohan's hard-pAArtying, chaos-craving lifestyle will hopefully be coming to an end soon — as she's due to begin her court-ordered, 90-day rehab stint any day now — TheDirty.com founder and Couples Therapy star Nik Richie recently opened up about his firsthand experience with the troubled starlet four years ago, back when she was dating Samantha Ronson, in his new tell-all Sex, Lies & The Dirty!
And sadly, if we didn't already know it was back in 2009, we'd have no trouble assuming it happened over the weekend.
As Richie writes, he was invited along with the formerly very volatile couple to make a paid appearance at Miami's Mansion Nightclub on New Year's Eve of 2009.
While he may have gone in with the intention of causing drama between the lady lovers, Lindsay was apparently happy to do just that with the help of no one else, as he says she openly flashed him a tittay while snorting cocaine in front of him in the nightclub's bathroom, tried to get him thrown out for merely speaking to Samantha AND caused $13,000 worth of damage to her hotel room in a coke-raged frenzy!
All in all, we'd say it's worth a read! Richie may have went into the event with an idea of the former child star's unpredictable behavior, but upon seeing all of it unfold in front of him, he found it all "too much, too real!"
Such a shame that the sentiment is even more accurate now than it was then.
Ch-ch-check out the full account of his wild night with Lindsay (below):
“Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan are the ‘it’ couple right now, and in a stroke of genius, Justin Levine books Sam to deejay Mansion in Miami — not necessarily because he likes her as a performer, but because he knows that if Sam’s there, Lindsay is going to be there, too.
Sam is cueing up songs in her headphones and smoking a cigarette. Lindsay and I are drinking, watching Sam. It’s dark and kind of boring. I’m thinking that if I hit on Lindsay (who actually looks decent tonight) that Sam will go nuts and they’ll get in a fight. There’s a PR chick that we’re supposed to talk to if we need to use the bathroom, so I tell this girl that if Lindsay needs to go, make sure to grab me so I can go too.
A couple of drinks pass where Sam is spinning, smoking cigarettes and Lindsay and I meander. Sometimes we’ll nod our heads to the music or casually chat. People are looking on from the rope that separates the platform from the rest of the club. Taking video, pictures. Security stands around waving flashlights at people to move away from the rope. Eventually the PR girl is telling me that Lindsay is going to the bathroom, so I sidle up to them, ready to navigate the stairs and hallways.
Lindsay takes my hand, leading the way through the dark. The PR girl opens the bathroom door for us to walk through and stands guard outside. It’s candlelit, but the light makes my pupils shrink. Lindsay goes straight for the toilet, pulling her dress up and sitting (no underwear) and one of her breasts is hanging out the top of the dress. I start to wash my hands and she asks me, ‘So, what’s your story?’ before doing an uneven line of coke off her wrist. I say, ‘Nothing… just, y’know… partying.’ I’m watching Lindsay do coke to my right, that pale tit hanging out, and it takes a couple of seconds to kick in that it’s intentional. I’m supposed to see this. She wants me to. And she’s doing more coke, raising her eye-brows at me like, ‘Want some?’ She sniffs. Snorts. She swabs a little in her mouth and I’ve heard about this kind of thing on TV and in the papers, but it’s different seeing it: the chick from Mean Girls doing blow on the toilet next to me. She’s not the same girl anymore. Something’s changed. She’s lost her way and seeing it is freaking me out.”
I walk myself back to the DJ booth where Sam is smoking a cigarette, cueing the next track up on her laptop. Sam shrugs at me like, ‘Where’s Lindsay?’ So I get up close, up in her ear and say, ‘She’s doing coke in the bathroom. That chick is crazy. How do you put up with it?’ Sam says, ‘Ugh! I knoooooooooooooooow,’ in a girly way I didn’t think she was capable of, but other than that she’s cool and down-to-earth, sort of like a dude.
We’re chatting in the DJ booth, laughing and giggling over Lohan drama, then Lindsay comes back and sees the two of us. She’s wiping her chest off because someone spilled a drink on her during the walk back. Lindsay sees Sam and me getting along (I’m basically hitting on her) and flips shit. Sam asks her, ‘Babe, are you okay?’ motioning to Lindsay’s wet chest.
Then Lindsay is yelling, ‘I can’t believe you’d fucking cheat on me like that! What the fuck?!’ I try to intervene, telling her, ‘Lindsay, I’m not going to fuck her. She’s a lesbian. It’s cool.’ She doesn’t even bother trying to talk to me. Lindsay turns to the nearest security guy and yells, ‘Get this fucking guy out of here!’ before she turns back to rip into Sam some more, causing a scene. Nobody can hear exactly what’s being said over the music (which, ironically, is “Womanizer” by Britney Spears), but their body language toward each other is clearly one of an argument. Everyone points. Laughs. Another camera flashes to capture the moment: the 'after' photos. They feed the media another story.
When I get back to the hotel that night there’s pounding and yelling. Screams. Mirrors are being broken and I don’t even bother calling the front desk to report it because I’m drunk and figure someone’s going to get to it soon."