Forget tiny teasers! The full-grown dragon of a trailer is here!
Find out what Khaleesi is destroying, where Tyrion went, and what the heck Arya looks like now!
Ch-ch-check out all the epic-ness (above)!
This isn't one of those bizarre factoids we sugarcoated or spun — a mollusk-forged mineral is literally attached to this guy's d*ck.
Will Hanigan is a 30-year-old adonis with chiseled abs and a license to teach yoga. We know Demi prefers young, fetching hard-bodies, so none of that is a surprise.
The pearl peen, however… That's an unexpected development!
Ah, the crazy things kids do for attention these days!
The Striptease star's ex-husband Bruce Willis was born when Eisenhower was president. He's a traditional man.
Ashton Kutcher is younger and wilder; we can maybe entertain the idea of a Prince Albert piercing his peen —- mmm, Ashton's peen — but even that is a stretch.
Pearl d*ck, though? That's a young man's game.
A source close to the situation (Will's urologist, perhaps?) revealed:
“He had a pearl inserted in his penis when he was in his late teens… It is pearl farming tradition and he would always joke about it in Australia. He’d boast it’d give girls extra stimulation in the bedroom.”
We have so many questions about the luster and color of his pearl, but we'll save those for another time!
We're just glad Demi finally found a man with a nice pearl farming pedigree!
For her sake, we're thankful he didn't come from a family of coal miners instead, LOLz!!
[Image via Pacific Coast News.]