WHY ARE FARTS SO FUNNY/HOW DID WE MISS THIS!
A big ole butt toot!
Well, you're going to have to press PLAY (below) to decide for yourself!
Slick Willie might make us sick though!
It's been reported that The National Enquirer has a copy of a cassette tape made by Monica Lewinsky to Bill Clinton at the apex of the affair that shook
Bubba's bed the nation.
“I could take my clothes off and start…well…I know you wouldn’t enjoy that? I hope to see you later and I hope you will follow my script and do what I want."
Script? Were they role playing? Isn't there a typical role play that involves pretending to be the President and the intern?
Apparently, this tape was believed to have been
thrown into Mount Doom destroyed, but that a secret copy of the cassette had been made.
One thing to note about this mix tape is that there's apparently only one artist on it, so to speak. Monica is the only one talking reportedly, and she's really looking to get some Commander in beef form:
“Since I know you will be alone tomorrow evening, I have two proposals for you, neither of which is you not seeing me.”
She then reportedly tells Bill to use his secretary, Betty Currie, to create gaps in his schedule in order for the two to meet off the books:
“Now the first thing that has to happen is that you need to pre-plan with Betty that you will leave the office at, I don't know, at 7, 7:30 so that everyone else who hates me, that causes me lots of trouble goes home. Then you quickly sneak back and then in the meantime I quickly sneak over and then we can have a nice little visit for, you know, 15 minutes or half-an-hour. Whatever you want…Maybe we could go over and watch a movie together and just have kind of, I don't know, boxed dinners or something like that.”
15 minutes! He probably needed only about 3, and eating box…ed dinners probably wasn't his thing either.
She then allegedly goes on to say that the last encounter was too short (HA!) with 42nd President, and finishes saying:
“And then that way we don’t have to deal with the problem of me…of there being a record of me going upstairs and we can spend some time together and see a good movie. So I don’t know, those are two proposals and you can’t refuse me because I’m too cute and adorable and soon I won’t be here anymore to pop over. I’m hoping you will hear this, and you will choose which one you want to do, and go tell Betty, and then she can call me and let me know, so I don't have to stress out all day and I don't have to call her every two hours and bug her because, I know you will find this very hard to believe, but I can be a pain in the ass sometimes. I’m very persistent, but um…I really want to see you.”
Yikes! We hope this tape isn't true, Bill! Although we agree with Lewinsky that we can't resist your sax-iness!
[Image via HRC/WENN.]