Look, we LOVE us some Johnny Depp!
He's a triple-certified hottie with an uber-charming personality — the man could make ten box office bombs in a row and he would still be our go-to guy!
So believe us when we say The Lone Ranger was one of the most forgettably mediocre movies of the Summer!
Despite our never-ending affection for the legendary actor and his hunk-tastic co-star Armie Hammer, the flick failed to impress just about everyone with eyes, ears, and a modicum of taste!
Johnny has a theory on his film's lukewarm reception, though — he swears it's the critics' fault!!
“I think the reviews were written seven-to-eight months before we released the film. I think the reviews were written when they heard Gore [Verbinksi] and Jerry [Bruckheimer] and me were going to do ‘The Lone Ranger’. They had expectations that it must be a blockbuster. I didn’t have any expectations of that. I never do.”
Wait, didn't he already blame them a few weeks ago?
Yup! But this time he brought along a co-star to agree with him!!
(Stop! Hammer time!)
“I have a delightful opinion about that [my publicist] is gonna get mad at me for sharing. But I’m going to tell you. This is the deal with American critics: they’ve been gunning for our movie since it was shut down the first time, that’s when most of the critics wrote their initial reviews. If you go back and read the negative reviews, most of them aren’t about the content of the movie, but more what’s behind it. It’s got to the point with American critics where if you’re not as smart as Plato, your stupid. That seems like a sad way to live your life. While we were making it we knew people were gunning for it. I think it was the popular thing when the movie hit rocky terrain they jumped on the bandwagon to try and bash it. They tried to do the same thing with to ‘World War Z’, it didn’t work, the movie was successful. Instead they decided to slit the jugular of our movie.”
Slit the jugular? Boy, that's some graphic imagery!
Regardless of who is at fault, we can all agree on one thing:
These guys should take off their shirts, oil each other up, and shoot a seXXXy Lone Ranger/Tonto calendar!!!
Now that is something we would pay to see!
[Image via Disney.]