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Sweden Decriminalizes Public Masturbation After An Old Dude Fondles His One-Eyed Skarsgård At Beach!

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueAlexander SkarsgårdSexGIFs

sweden decriminalizes public masturbation abba alexander skarsgard sexy beach fun

Stockholm Syndrome just got a whole lot weirder!

A 65-year-old horn-ball was charged with sexual assault recently after unsheathing his Pippi Longstocking at a Swedish beach and stroking her in public; sadly, this isn't the shocking part of this story.

He was arrested and charged with sexual assault, but the courts actually ended up acquitting the dude! They ruled the man committed no actual offense because his "activities" weren't directed toward any particular target!

Uh… So, they're saying it's okay stab-a your ABBA in public, but only if you aren't checking out the girl next to you with the dragon tattoo!?

Prosecutor Olof Vrethammar agrees with the verdict. He admitted:

“For this to be a criminal offence it's required that the sexual molestation was directed towards one or more people. I think the court's judgement is reasonable… The district court has made a judgement on this case. With that we can conclude that it is okay to masturbate on the beach.”

Wow! We don't even know where to begin!

Can you fondle your Swedish meatballs in public, too, or is that crossing the line?

And what about after you've climaxed (Icona) popped? What are the rules for clean up?

Either way, we're glad we don't work on the janitorial staff at IKEA because it's about to get real messy!

On a tangentially related note, if Alexander Skarsgård ever wants to spend a day at the beach day with us in his native land, we are totally down, LOLz!!

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14 comments to “Sweden Decriminalizes Public Masturbation After An Old Dude Fondles His One-Eyed Skarsgård At Beach!”

  1. dav says – reply to this


    1

    I live in Sweden and everything is so fucking "Political correct" its crazy, Here in Sweden it actually pays to be criminal because its so easy to make the one you rob commit a "crime". Seriously its so fucked up.

  2. annainparis says – reply to this


    2

    Come on!!! He is 65!!! He won't be able to do this much longer. I like it when justice is shady not black and white, it screams TOLERANCE



  3. 3

    Re: annainparis – YOU are what's wrong with society today. Public masturbation is shameful; if he wants to play with himself, he should do it in private. The more TOLERANCE we have, the more things get out of control. I'd like to throw you in a prison with the criminals you want to TOLERATE and see how well you do among them. Having an "anything goes" mentality creates chaos, ass clown.

  4. Demi's Fat Ass says – reply to this


    4

    Masturbating in public is gross. Go home or somewhere private to do that shit.



  5. 5

    There are things that should be done in private

  6. MichJB says – reply to this


    6

    Well, we all know where Perez will be taking his next vacation.

  7. SharkAttackFEEEET says – reply to this


    7

    Re: annainparis – Thats a myth. Only around 44% of men over 70 and 80 have ED and a large percentage of them can be treated for it (depending on their health).

    As long as you marry a rich guy, your guy will always be able to afford treatment for ED. Women who marry poor guys "for love" …..end up living without sex most because "love" alone cant buy a $10 pill. Just avoid poor guys and your guys will always have hardon options.
    And when push comes to shove, there are penile implants.

  8. Hannah says – reply to this


    8

    I'm from Sweden and the laws are completely idiotic! In some way or another it's always the victims fault.

  9. Betty says – reply to this


    9

    Ummm this is about seadon but why is the pic tom daley, chris mears and jack laugher british divers?

  10. Casey says – reply to this


    10

    Pippi Longstocking. Ahaha im dying



  11. 11

    This is just nasty, what if there were children around? The old goat should do this in private.

  12. Anna says – reply to this


    12

    Yeah it's gross but why should that make it illegal? Like they say, it's only if someone *assaults* someone else (or harasses, by, y'know, 'directing' it at someone else!) that there should be a criminal issue. Its legality doesn't prevent people from challenging someone who decides to masturbate in public and most people who masturbate in public are either already covered by sexual harassment laws - i.e. masturbating into someone on public transport - or down an alleyway where you'll never see them. You can't fault the logic or the ethos.

  13. Cynic says – reply to this


    13

    Actually the media got it a bit wrong it is still a crime (a missdemeanor anyway), but it is not molestation (unless aimed at someone) but it is disorderly conduct which is a very minor crime here.

  14. Alphonso says – reply to this


    14

    Wouldn't it be logical to assume that if he was masturbating in public in the vicinity of anyone nearby that he was directing his attentions toward them…it would be difficult to prove that he wasn't aiming his attentions at them otherwise he would have done it out of site in the sand dunes…What a fucked up decision that was by an obviously incompetent judge to accept!