The moment is finally here!!
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[Image via Getty Images.]
As you read this post, please keep a close eye on your sense of dignity (hold it oh, so tight) because it's about to get real weird up in here.
Rihanna was recently partying it up in Thailand, when apparently she witnessed probably the craziest, weirdest, grossest sex show of all time, ever, and anon.
Why explain it ourselves, when we can share with you Rihanna's sex show experience according to Rihanna's Twitter:
"Either I was ph*ck wasted lastnight, or I saw a Thai woman pull a live bird,2 turtles,razors,shoot darts and ping pong, all out of her p*$$y. The birds feathers were all damp! Lol And THEN she tried to turn water into coke in her $!! Uhh yea, all I'm saying is water went in and soda came out! I'm traumatized!!!"
Uh, awkward turtle much! Haha but SRSLY, Rihanna. We're all traumatized. In fact, we're SHELL shocked.
Not only does this sex show probably violate several rules from the Geneva Convention, but those poor animals will need at least 10 years of therapy to recover from this!
Also, turning water into coke? Either this Thai woman is secretly Walter White, or she owns the alchemist's ever desired Philosopher's stone and put it inside her…yeah, well you get the idea.
We just wish we could RiRiRewind and never learn any of this and get these weird Clockwork Orange-like images out of our heads! Our eyes! The horror!
(DISCLAIMER: No animals were harmed in the writing of this post.)
[Image via WENN.]