No, not Allied...
[Image via Adriana M. Barazza/WENN.]
*Don't read/watch if you haven't seen the first show! LOLz!*
Get ready for some fierce b*tch craft, people!
American Horror Story: Coven premiered last night and it was effing CRAY!
Ryan Murphy totes outdid himself with bloody toruturous plot lines—and we're officially obsessed with the show as much as Fiona is with staying young and beautiful!
HELLO! She literally sucks the life out of people to maintain her supreme witch nastiness! Ha!
So much shiznit went down last night, we don't even know where to start!
Zoe Benson (a seemingly regular teenager) gets sent to a *special* all girls school because she has sex with a guy and kills him, due to a witchy genetic affliction…She's totes a black widow, y'all!
There she meets Madison Montgomery, Nan, and Queenie—three other witches that were sent to the New Orleans academy to be taught how to control their powers of telekinesis, clairvoyance, and voodoo!
Cordelia Foxx, head master of Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, plans to teach the fiery females how to suppress their magical abilities to go on to live normal lives.
That is, until, Fiona (who we find out is Miz Foxx's momma) appears at the academy to teach the gals how to defend themselves after a witch was burned at the stake a la Salem!
Major story lines include a roofie frat boy gang bang, tragic bus crash, and a slave-beating woman from 1834 dug up alive!
Ch-ch-check out the nutty season 3 episode promo (above) to see all the craziness that's in store for the Coven!
We can't wait till next week!