No ifs, ands, or BUTTS about it!
However, its most eyebrow-raising article is about the dos and don'ts of anal sex!
The brand wrote:
[Image via WENN.]
THIS IS HALLOWEEN! THIS IS HALLOWEEN!
halloween, halloween, halloween, halloweeeeennnnnn!
And to celebrate the 20th anniversary (October 15) of The Nightmare Before Christmas, we shall guide you down a journey of the film's most artistic moments …IN GIFS, DUH!!
Tim Burton was really on to something when he let the monsters in his mind come out to play through this cult classic masterpiece.
We know it. You know it. Sandy Claws knows it.
So let's appreciate, shall we??
We first enter a delightful little land known as Halloweentown…
…where haunts and ghouls are hellos and goodbyes…
…and Jack Skellington reigns as Mr. Popular, scaring the screams out of every monster in town (all in good fun, though — he's no villain)!
There are few who can deny that what he does, he does the best. He is renowned both very far and wide. But lately, something's been troubling our dear friend, Jack…
What ever could it be? He's respected and adored by all! Hmm, could he be longing for something more than Halloween?? Is there somewhere his soul needs to see to feel fulfillment once more!?
Holy shizz! What's this!?
He can't believe his eyes!
Following a therapeutic walk through a patch of woods he'd clearly never strolled before, Jack's done fallen down to Christmastown!
Mesmerized by all the warmth and glow, Jack's brain begins to spin its wheels in mischievously new ways. What if he could bring this magic back to his town and introduce this glorious Christmas to Halloween!!
While back in Halloweentown, he tells his neighbors of how they can all participate and before you know it, he's turned all of them into his own personal elves!! But their presents aren't quite as cheery as Jack had seen in the other realm. Instead of bright new toys, they're making scary, terrifying ones! Meanwhile, Sally — the resident babe and distant admirer of Jack's — has a bad feeling about all of this, one that's confirmed in an eerie vision!
She tries to warn Jack, but he's too busy with everyone else and his own ideas to notice. Disappointed but not discouraged by his friends' interpretation of the new holiday, Jack lets them find Christmas in their own way while he works diligently to do the same for himself.
Hmm… something's not right. Something is… missing.
A-ha! Sandy Claws! That's it!! Jack needs Sandy Claws — the master himself!!
In a poorly planned move, Jack gets the town's three rascals to go fetch the jolly round man and bring him back for an all-inclusive vacation. On their first attempt, they retrieve the Easter Bunny. The children's lack of attention does not please Jack. He gets firm with them and demands they bring the real hero next time.
Successful this time, Jack informs Claws of his vacation and orders the kids to put him somewhere nice and cozy — somewhere WITHOUT big bad guy Mr. Oogie Boogie (side note — Santa Clause is all WTF is going on).
Bratty as usual, the trio disobey Jack's orders and send the St. Nic down the chute to the bug-filled monster's lair, where Mr. Oogie Boogie will commence his torturous fun with Santa. NOT COOL, GUYS!
But with Santa gone, Jack can take his spOOky presents to Christmastown and reign as this year's Sandy Claws. Too bad Sally's about to fog it all up, making it impossible for Jack and his skeleton reindeer to fly…
Oh no!! Whatever will they do?? Oh duh… Zero the red-nosed ghost dog!!
Now Jack's in the pilot's seat and he's going after his merry dreams! Hope those kids are ready for it…
Uh oh! Seems like Jack's plans to bring joy to another town have gone awry. These residents aren't joyful.. they're downright terrified!! So much so, word has gotten out to the cops. And now Jack's being shot at!!
Noo!! He's been shot! He's falling out of the sky!!
Fortunately, Jack survives (c'mon, he's a skeleton — how could he really die) despite Halloweentown's belief that he's lost to them forever now. While they mourn, word gets back to Mr. Oogie Boogie, who takes glee knowing nothing can get in the way of him torturing Santa now.
Sally has somehow snuck her way in, but now she's trapped with Santa too! Oh no… if only there was a hero to save them… like Jack!
Muahahah! Jack comes to the rescue and pounces on that icky sticky Oogie Boogie like the sack of maggots he is! With the big bad defeated, Jack frees Sally and goes to Santa's mercy and apologizes for the horrible mess he's made.
Having just almost lost his life, Santa is understandably pissed and scolds Jack on the importance of sticking to your own holiday (or strength). Santa's not all mad, though. There's still some jolly in there, and as he leaves, he does so with some inspiration for Jack and a present for Halloweentown — snow!
Elated to see Jack's alive, the town make snow angels (or demons) and frolic in the new weather with glee and cheer. But still, something is STILL troubling Jack. There's something missing in his heart. Oh what oh what could it be…
OMG DUH OF COURSE… LOVE!!
With all the towns back at peace, Jack and Sally can recognize each other as the soulmates they are and live happily ever after.
P.S. CLICK HERE to purchase your own special 20th anniversary edition of the magnificent film on DVD and Blu-Ray!!