No. Just so much no.
Apple Unveils iPad Air, Gives iPad Mini A Retina Display! The Future Is Here & It's MARVELOUS! Get Specs HERE!
Holy crapsicles!!! This is AMAZEBALLZ!
Apple unveiled the next generation of iPad just minutes ago, and the specs on the new device will BLOW your technologically-oriented mind!!!
Are you ready to learn about the iPad5? You sure? Well, tough!!! Because that's not even a thing!
Whoa!! So light! So breezy! We love the name!!!
It'll only weigh one pound, be 7.5 millimeters thick, and will have a "screaming fast" A7 Chip!!! Holy crap!!! One pound?? That's lighter than a spring dookie!!
The colors it comes in are silver, white, space grey, and black! Sorry, folks — NO GOLD FOR U!
In other news, the new iPad mini will have a Retina display! Finally it's worth getting! Woo hoo!!!
The iPad Air will go on sale November 1st, in plenty of time for the holidaze season, and cost $499!
Hooray for the future!! We, for one, welcome our new robot overlords!