Forget flare guns and fire hoses - the real way to ward off Somali pirates out at sea is to hit them with a blast of Britney!
Sea Captains battling East African ship raiders have reportedly discovered a new secret weapon in Britney Spears', claiming that pirates hate her music so much, they turn away from any vessel that's playing her hit songs!
Second Officer Rachel Owens, a merchant navy officer aboard one of these huge super tankers has seen firsthand how BritBrit can keep them safe. She explained:
"Her songs have been chosen by the security team accompanying our tankers because they thought the pirates would hate them most. These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect.”
The US police and military were the first to adopt this tactic to stop ocean rioters. The practice worked so well, now cruise ships and navy vessels are also cranking out Oops!…I Did It Again and …Baby One More Time!
Steven Jones, of the Security Association for the Maritime Industry, says that playing pop music has proven to be one of the most effective ways at keeping pirates off of ships! He claimed:
"Pirates will go to any lengths to avoid or try to overcome the music, even using earplugs. I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention!"
Welp, keep cranking out those hits, Brit! The more you sing, the safer we'll all be while traveling the high seas!
[Images via Facebook and Columbia Pictures.]
Tags: britney spears, captain phillips, highlarious, justin bieber, music minute, pirates, tacky and true, wacky