We did not see this coming at all!
Chris apparently has a nine-month-old daughter with a 31-year-old model friend of his named Nia.
We'll keep you updated as more info comes to light!
[Image via Johnny Louis/WENN.]
Finally! A vagina that tastes better when it's dry!
From the people who brought you, presumably, other totally creepy edible items comes The Vagina Toaster!
We know what you're probably thinking, but stop right there!
This freaky new kitchen appliance from Burnt Impressions does NOT cook pre-existing vaginas — that would be weird and, likely, dangerous. No, the Vagina Toaster cooks vagina-shaped patterns into pre-existing slices of bread!
Phew!! That sounds way more delicious!!
The concept isn't entirely new, as you've probably seen Hello Kitty toasters before, but this is by far the craziest toast we've ever seen!
This is art! This is life! This is, well, this is probably a clear indicator that even toaster engineers are prone to Oedipal complexes!
But there is still one question on everyone's mind:
Don't ask us, we're saving our carbs for bread burnt in the shape of Zac Efron's wondrous wang, LOLz!
We checked the reviews, though, and some of them were less than stellar:
Uhhh, we're not sure he's using it right!!
Still, don't let that stop you! If you're eager for a toaster that pops out pu**y, you can buy one from Amazon today for less than $40!!
On an unrelated note, we've never seen a slice of vagina toast and the Eye of Sauron in the same place before.
Hmm, we wonder if that's a coincidence?
[Image via Amazon]