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Justin Bieber's Jail Time Exposed! Here's What Probably Happened While The Biebsy Was Behind Bars!

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While we weren't there with him during his harrowing night in jail, we can only imagine how scared Justin Bieber was after being arrested early this morning.

In fact, we DID imagine what it was like. Here's our play by play analysis of what probably happened!

First, the news broke around the world that Biebs had been arrested. Here's the news covered by The Daily Prophet:


Then, just like one of his egg's against his neighbors house, Justin probably cracked under the pressure of being thrown into jail:


After that, Biebsy ran into the Bluth family, asked them where the nearest bucket was to go pee in, and tried to steal that ice cream sandwich before guards told him "no touching:"


Following that, Justin spent $75,000 on strippers in jail, not to recreate his trip to a Brazilian brothel, but to perform a rousing (and arousing) rendition of Cell Block Tango, which may or may not earn him a Tony Award:


Pretty soon, just like one of his eggs, Justin eventually came out of his shell singing Like a Virgin in honor of him popping his jail cherry:


After his bail was set at $2,500 (30 times less than what he spent in one night at a strip club), Justin's chief concern was his escape from his own personal Alcatraz:


Eventually, Justin crawled through five hundred yards of "piece of sh*t" tweets from Seth Rogen to his freedom:


We hope he detoxes today, and for the rest of his life! Hey, maybe Lil Za can be his designated driver?

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8 comments to “Justin Bieber's Jail Time Exposed! Here's What Probably Happened While The Biebsy Was Behind Bars!”

  1. suckadick says – reply to this


    this is bullshit stop making gifs out of it its not a joke you fucking homo

  2. keyth says – reply to this


    So much for Perez "changing" for 2014. That wasn't funny. Perez will NEVER change.

  3. nationalenquirer says – reply to this


    "Popping his male cherry" ??? You are disgusting Perez.

  4. 4

    Re: suckadick – I agree!
    Stop making fun of Lord Beiber.
    He is much better than anyone who has ever lived, and will ever live.
    Someone needs to go out there and prove that by annihilating the entire human race in beibers honor!

  5. beach says – reply to this


    God damn you're an idiot. What is the point of this story? Oh, that's RIGHT. NOTHING. How do you sleep at night making shit up to suit you that you know PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE? You have no class or morals. Someday KARMA will kick you in the ass like you deserve.

  6. Simon says – reply to this


    He's using drugs, driving drunk, destroying peoples property, speaking to the police like they are s***…. And he thinks he's Michael Jackson getting on his car roof. Two main differences; Michael Jackson was talanted.. and innocent. Despite all he had to deal with Michael was humble, courteous and took it seriously. This kid has signed the Vanilla Ice death warrant and his career is over. But blame Perez if you must ffs.

  7. Steph says – reply to this


    This isn't a joke. He is psychologically unbalanced and he needs help. He could of hurt himself or someone else and you are making light of the situation? Please, grow up.

  8. cynthia garza says – reply to this