Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
Well, it's a good thing Justin Bieber wasn't arrested in Phoenix!
Arizona's Sheriff Joe Arpaio is making headlines again, but for all the wrong reasons!
The ultra-conservative and totes controversial lawman is royally pissed because inmates in one of his prisons desecrated American flags he forced them to hang in their cells!
How does he plan to punish these 38 rapscallions? By putting them on a bread and water diet!!
Wait, what!? That seems kind of messed up!! What if one of them is allergic to gluten?!
"These inmates have destroyed the American flag that was placed in their cells. Tearing them, writing on them, stepping on them, throwing them in the toilet, trash or wherever they feel. It's a disgrace … this is government property that they are destroying, and we will take action against those who act this way."
Yikes!! Why did he force them to hang American flags in their cells in the first place? Did he expect them to salute them every night before bed?
Apparently the Sheriff is figuratively shoving America down these inmates throats in other ways, too! He's blasting the Star-Spangled Banner every morning through the prison intercom and then God Bless America every night.
Look, we love America as much as the next guy! We love it even more than we love licking barbecue sauce off of Zac Efron's abs, but this is overkill!!!
The Eighth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution pretty explicitly forbids cruel and unusual punishment!!!
While it might be up to the courts to decide whether Sheriff Joe's tactics are cruel, we think everyone would agree they're unusual!