Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
Only a few of this year's Oscar nominees will take home a statue, but many, many more will be taking home… a $250 bottle of maple syrup!?
Not everyone can walk away with a statue on Oscar night, but Distinctive Assets is seeing to that most folks at least get something to take home!
They've dubbed their consolation prize the "Everybody Wins at the Oscars" gift bag — it's an assortment of goodies that will be handed out to the also-rans, and it's valued at over $55,000!
Woo hoo! Sounds AMAZEBALLZ!
Curious what else in the bag?
Chocolatines Savory Wine Flight Pairing ($80)
Halo Natural Pet Food ($6,142.89)
Max Martin Shoes ($750)
Dosha Tea-Based Pops ($35)
Blossom Blends Tea ($49.95)
Hydroxycut Weight Loss Products ($38.96)
Narrative Clip Camera ($279)
Polar Loop Activity Tracker ($109.95)
Steamist Home Spa System ($2,560)
M3K Beauty Products ($100)
Best of Vegas Tour Package ($9,000)
Rouge Maple Syrup ($250)
House Call From Nutritionist Heather Lounsbury ($500)
Slimware Dinnerware ($59)
Huntley Drive Fitness Training Sessions ($850)
Le Petit Cirque Troop ($575)
Jan Lewis Designs Bracelet ($400)
Walk Japan Tour of Japan ($15,000)
Epic Pet Health Therapy ($1,571.98)
Acure Skincare ($300)
Rocky Mountaineer Train Trip ($4,078.00)
Gizara Arts Print ($1,000)
Jitseu Handbags ($279)
Imanta Mexico Resort Stay ($3,300)
Koala Landing Resort Stay in Kauai ($2,000)
Aviv 613 Vodka ($30)
Oooh, fun! We'll take two, please!!
UPDATE: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has EXCLUSIVELY! assured us that they don't have a hand in the gift bags — their rep says they haven't "approved, endorsed, or sponsored" them.
In fact, considering the tax liability that may be involved, they aren't even sure whether the intended recipients would want a gift bag!