It was the worst mass shooting in U.S. history, and now we know exactly how it happened.
[Image via AP Images.]
In February of 1989, two men changed the world forever!
1. First and foremost, the world needs music!
2. And George Carlin, the world needs him too!
3. But mostly it just needs Alex Winters & Keanu Reeves, a.k.a. Bill & Ted.
4. Because they taught us invaluable lessons in a variety of different fields — like nutrition!
5. And ancient genealogy!
6. They even taught us the importance shopping in safe neighborhoods!
And, boy oh boy, did they teach us about sex. Some of history's biggest names we're into super kinky shiz!!!
7. Sigmund Freud, for instance? Total bondage fiend!
8. Socrates was kind of a vanilla dude, but he'd let you kiss him on the mouth!
9. Joan of Arc can often be found on her knees!
10. Abraham Lincoln tried to come out of the closet, but it pulled him back in!
11. Billy the Kid learned everything he knows from watching Three Guys, One Phone Booth!
12. Genghis Khan? Well, it's pretty well documented that he LOVES Twinkies!
13. Napoleon dives in head first; he really makes the sparks fly!
14. Still, he can be kind of a d**k!
15. We learned about math — Two Teds are better than one!
16. And chemistry! Heavy metals are real, dude!
17. Ted knows a thing or two about meteorology!
18. He & Bill also taught us how to treat one another!
19. And to always pay our phone bill on time… or else!
20. We learned about manners — Socrates shows us it's impolite to stare!
21. They showed us what was good to watch on TV!
22. And how air guitar is appropriate in every situation!
23. And that real men, they show affection to one another!
24. But mostly we learned to have fun!
25. AND TO ROCK!
Happy 25th Anniversary, Bill & Ted!