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GLEE-Tail: Rachel Slaps Santana HARD In The Face – And Then The REAL Drama Begins!

| Filed under: TV NewsGleeLea MicheleNaya Rivera

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We’re back, Gleeks!

After the loooooooongest hiatus imaginable, Glee finally arrived back on the airwaves on their new night and time! (Which was a good move for them – Thursday and 9 was getting CROWDED!)

Anyway, the gang is gearing up for a pretty exciting back end of the season, including the highly-anticipated, two-part 100th episode celebration and the official switch over to a full-time New York centric series. So, enjoy the Lima scene while you can, because soon it will be a distant memory – like Terri Schuester and Hunter Clarington.

Still, if last night’s episode was any indication of what’s to come, the real fun – and drama – is in New York anyway, so you’ll probably never even miss the halls of McKinley. Not with Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez going at it like ANIMALS! Damn!

So, to the matter at hand…


Slap, Rattle, and Roll

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Let’s begin with the most important story of the night: Rachel Berry being a diva BEAST!

As everyone knows, Rachel (and to the same extent Lea Michele) has had a rough year, but she has been filling the void and fighting through her grief in perhaps the best way possible – rehearsing for the role she was born to play. While her career has skyrocketed, the same can not be said of Santana, who’s fire has been reduced to embers following the minimal success of her yeast infection commercial.

So, Rachel tries to cheer her up by getting her a job as a model at her first photo shoot (wearing the most adorable Barbra Streisand outfit of all time), but the plan backfires as Santana sees the opportunity to piggyback off Rachel’s success – literally. She auditions for Carlisle Cullen to be Rachel’s understudy, and yes, she does get the job, much to the dismay of Miz Berry. That’s when things get interesting/totally batsh*t cray. Rachel loses her cool when Santana begins to push all the right buttons, drumming up old resentments from high school and shouting, ““You are short, you are awful, and that is never gonna change!” That earned her a slap in the face heard round the world – you’re gonna wanna watch it twice, because Lea REALLY puts her back(hand) into it!

But the situation is what it is and for the girls, that means working together for the sake of the publicity of the show. Seems a revival starring a nobody from Ohio isn’t going to fill the seats of NYC theater, but the Cinderella story of two “friends” from Ohio landing the starring role in a beloved musical right our of high school will do the trick. So, the show must go on… but Rachel refuses to keep up the charade at home. She decides it’s best for her to pack her things and go, but not before laying one more smackdown on the girl from Lima Heights. On her way out the door, she snatches a photo of the girls together and rips it to shreds, throwing the crumbled pieces to the floor as Satana looks on in utter… shock? Disgust? Hard to say, but she wasn’t wearing her signature bitchface, that’s for sure. Perhaps losing Rachel as a friend will really affect her.

To be continued…

Everyone Else? WAY Less Dramatic!

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Seriously, the episode was primarily about Santana and Rachel, but there was some other stuff going on. Like elsewhere in New York, Kurt is still trying to make his band Pamela Lansbury happen and feels threatened by his fellow bandmate Starchild (that’s still his name, right?). So, in an attempt to ensure this guy knows who the spotlight belongs to, Kurt butters him up with some male bonding, which results in a totally awesome rendition of the only hit from The Darkness in a guitar shop. But Starchild, er, Elliot knows exactly what Kurt is up to and assures him that he only wants to be his friend and collaborator – the spotlight is all Kurts. So, they kiss on the cheek and make up… and then stupidly put the peck on the Internet for anyone to see.

Like Blaine!

Speaking of Lima, the next couple of weeks are going to BUSY. Oh yeah, did you forget we still have Nationals AND Graduation to get through? Okay, so did we, but it all came rushing back to us when we were invited into the office of Principal Sue Sylvester at the top of the show. Time to pick valedictorian and the top honor will go to one of two students: Tina and Artie. As you can imagine, that drums up some drama (if not also some lingering sexual tension, hmm?!) that puts the two at odds. But in the end, they make valiant attempts to help the other win the coveted honor … which then subsequently causes them both to lose the spot and the speech is given to Blaine. Yeah, there was some ridiculous reason, but it was all really just a segue to what everyone really wants anyway: a valedictorian PERFORMANCE, which Blaine suggest should include all three of them.

Time will tell how that pans out for them.

And next week … continued Dynasty-esque adventures Sanchel! Oh, we look forward to it!

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2 comments to “GLEE-Tail: Rachel Slaps Santana HARD In The Face – And Then The REAL Drama Begins!”

  1. 1

    All my children meets Dynasty….too gay.

  2. @v@ says – reply to this


    Fictional Glee big house jail time for assault.