No ifs, ands, or BUTTS about it!
However, its most eyebrow-raising article is about the dos and don'ts of anal sex!
The brand wrote:
[Image via WENN.]
A Northern California couple was out walking their dog recently when they stumbled across something extraordinary! Something WONDERFUL!
We know what you're thinking, but they didn't find polaroid pictures of a naked Ian Somerhalder barebacking riding a stallion on the beach — they found something even cooler!!
The couple and their pooch stumbled across $10 mil in buried
AH-Mazing!!! We're gonna start walking our dog three or five more times per day! (No, we don't mean that as a euphemism!)
The couple, referred to in reports as "Mary" and "John" because they want to remain anonymous in case treasure hunters decide to swarm to their property, found 8 buried metal cans filled with around 1,400 rare gold coins which are somehow still in great condition!!
They took the gold to numismatic experts (look it up!) who we're just as stunned as everyone else!
"We've seen shipwrecks in the past where thousands of gold coins were found in very high grade, but a buried treasure of this sort is unheard of… I've never seen this face value in North America, and you never see coins in the condition we have here."
Wow! They must be thrilled at the discovery!!
"It was like finding a wonderful hot potato. I never would have thought we would have found something like this; however, in a weird way I feel like I have been preparing my whole life for it."
Wait. She's been preparing her whole life to stumble across $10 mil in gold coins?? Really???
On the long list of things we might expect to find half-buried on a trail while we're walking TeddyHilton, $10 mil in buried
pirate treasure is somewhere near the bottom sandwiched between the remains of Jimmy Hoffa and a complete pterodactyl skeleton!
The lucky couple says they plan to sell the majority of the coins and that they'll use the money pay off their home and to fund a few of their favorite charities!!
We hope they also use their windfall of cash to buy something delightful for their doggie! If it wasn't for the pup who had to poop, they might never have discovered it!