1. Bruce Jenner reveals he is transgender right at the start of the interview.
2. Why Bruce is transitioning now, at age 65.
[Image via ABC News.]
Can you FUH-REAKING imagine?!
Who out there would be a better Mardi Gras partner-in-crime?? Uh, NO ONE!!!
Not only is Miley Cyrus rich (so she could buy you all the beads you want), but she's also an often nekked party animal (so she could EARN you all the beads you want).
Unfortunately for pretty much all of us, we won't be celebrating Mardi Gras with the unofficial mascot, Miz Miley!
But luckily we can still imagine what that AH-Mazing experience would be like. And from what we imagine, it would be crazier than that time Miley rubbed a foam finger all over herself and twerked on Robin Thicke
, basically leading to his marriage falling apart.
It would start off innocently enough, c'mon, this is THE Hannah Montana after all:
But eventually, you'll remember Hannah is dead:
That's when trouble takes over. You can't possibly think that traveling down Bourbon Street with Miles wouldn't involve a little puff puff:
And as that smokey Mary Jane takes over your and Mileybird's brains, you'll probably lick people until they point you in the direction of the nearest tattoo parlor. And that'll lead to tats you'll most def regret:
We hate to break it to you, somewhere between the tattoo parlor and the sticky bar where you're taking your next body shot…you'll probably lose your pants:
But don't worry because NO ONE will notice. After all, it's Mardi Gras, and that shizz is allllll about BOOBIES! Terrific tittays! Fabulous fun bags that Miz Miley will surely show off to garner a few sparkly beads:
Don't forget, there will be BOOBS:
While you're basking in your beads, you better be careful to not get too distracted by the sparkles because Miley will soon find you a bouncing booty to motorboat:
And then a little person to spank:
And she'll snag Robin just so you can twerk on him:
And you HAVE to do it all or else Miley will crown you a Mardi Gras party pooper:
Thanks to Miley, after all the licking, crotch-grabbing, and booty-smacking you'll end up so exhausted you can't even keep your tongue in your mouth:
Which makes your Mardi Gras a TOTAL SUCCESS! And how does Mileybird celebrate?? With money sandwiches!
But we can't promise you won't accidentally munch on a thong instead: