It viciously read:
[Image via WENN.]
Reunited — and it feels so good!
So good! So good!
Last night, the show that made everyone want to sing again celebrated it’s 100th episode on the air. Glee has known some really great times and some recently, some really hard times, but the one thing that has stood the test of time is it’s ability to pull on people’s heart strings. It’s been close to 2 years since the original gang of Gleeks were together in one room, but thankfully, everyone – including Dianna Agron, Heather Morris and Mark Salling – signed on for the two-part, 100th episode extravaganza, where the crew says on final goodbye to the family they made in McKinley.
There were laughs, there were a lot of tears and there were two makeout sessions that actually elicited squeals of delight from every Gleek everywhere. Oh, and did we mention that Gwyneth Paltrow and Kristin Chenoweth returned? Because they did, with wine no less! LOL!
So jump on the Gleetime express and travel back to a time when no one had graduated, Nationals was still a seemingly unattainable goal and there were regularly scheduled episodes of Fondue For 2 … in our recap!
Fondue For FOUR!
We won't play this coy, we're going to get right into what you want to know: DID BRITTANA HOOKUP?
Well, slow your roll for just one second, while we focus on another part of the Unholy Trinity, as this was the first time Brittany, Santana AND Quinn have been together in the same room in two years. Quinn returns home with a rather handsome man on her arm named Nate Archibald, er, Biff Macintosh. He's a harmless, rich dude; He's also SUPER boring and totally unaware of Quinn's past, including that time she had a baby with Puck. Speaking of that handsome devil, Noah Puckerman has also returned from his station in the armed forces and he has one thing on his mind — getting Quinn back. It takes some convincing, and throwing her new BF in a dumpster, but in the end, the pair find themselves in the boy's locker room, looking at the memorial dedicated to Finn. Puck wonders if he really forgave them for what they did to them and Quinn assures Puck they did him a favor; they led him to his real soulmate, Rachel. Puck confesses his love and calls Quinn his own soulmate and asks her to make him stay. Cue a beautiful scene where Puck seems to be walking away forever, only for Quinn to run after him, grab him and kiss him passionately. (Oh, and ask him to stay. That's kind of important.)
So, what about Brittana? WELL…. all right, all right, we won't drag it out any longer — but you might not like what we're going to say! Santana notices pretty quickly that Brittany isnt' the same girl who left her almost a year ago. She's bored to tears by her work at MIT and she feels hollow with no creative outlet. Remembering that they were friends first, Santana makes it her mission to help Brit find her creative, vibrant side again, and not a moment too soon. There's a scene where Brit has forced the Chess Club into costumes made to look like the pieces and plays a human size version of the game. It was funny, but just too nerdy for our girl Brittany. After Santana reminds Brittany of the dancing, musical fool she truly is, Brittany thanks her with a big, ole passionate kiss … that Santana STOPS! Excuses were thrown around — how it was too hard to get over her, how she has a new GF back in NYC — but Brittany won't budge. She loves her and she wants her back and insists they belong together.
Squeeeeeeee! And we get more of that next week?! YES!
The Ultimate Diva-Off
We suppose by now you're needing a little context as to what brings the kids all back together again. Well, you'll remember from last week, the Glee club lost at Nationals, thus losing their school funding and are now being asked to disband. Schuester has asked all his students, new and old, to give him a week of their time to remember all the good times they've shared. Part of that process is to revisit some of their favorite performances from years ago and remixing the tunes. Always at odds, Rachel and Mercedes end up deciding to sing the same song, Defying Gravity, and let the club decide, once and for all, who the bigger diva is. But there are two problems with this. First, they both very quickly and very surprisingly forget that there is a third voice in their song and don't include him at all in the vote! Kurt, HELLO! But then, when it comes time to vote, the continuing feud between Santana and Rachel comes to a head as former throws the latter under the bus and runs her over 1000 times over with her personal brand of snarky cruelty. Rachel runs off, with Mercedes not far behind her, and the two share with real honesty that the torture they endured while being losers in school have fueled their success as adults. They embrace and remember how equally talented they both truly are, which is good since the vote for ultimate diva ULTIMATELY lands in a tie.
The New Directions Hit The End Of The Road
In the end, every trick Will tried to play to save his beloved club backfired. Bringing back boozy April Rhodes, however hilarious she is, didn't pan out after it was discovered she no longer has any money to fund the McKinley Auditorium. April calls for backup in the form of Holly Holliday, but she ends up just being more of a moral supporter. Alas, it looks like the club will finally be meeting it's end, but not before Schue brings his original crew onto the stage one last time to say goodbye. He places Finn’s plaque up on the wall and gives a tearful speech. "I don’t have any more pep talks," he says. "I just have you guys and the memories of the people on this wall." He cries, Rachel cries (that is still so hard to watch), and up in the rafters, two blondes begin hatching a new plot over a two thermos of vino to save this beloved club.
We have a feeling it's not going to work, but we're game to have the gang all back together for one more week!
And now, for some of our favorite lines:
"You know, she once taught me how to shoplift meat in my vagina." –Tina, sharing with wide-eyed Marley a favorite April moment
"So what. She got cast in a play as an annoying Jewish girl. What a surprise." - Mercedes, shading Rachel's success on Broadway
"I just wish that I could have my old life back, where I wasn’t a mathematical genius and all I wanted to do was to scissor you and to talk to my cat." - Brittany to Santana on her new life
"You’re currently rehearsing for the lead role in Broadway musical. You’re also working full-time as a singing waitress at a diner and enrolled full-time as a student at NYADA. Would you agree that it’s slightly irresponsible for you to leave New York for an entire week for no other reason than the glee club’s been canceled?" - Brittany to Rachel while hosting Fondue for 2
"I’ve got you a wedding present. It’s a little hooch. It’ll help dull the excruciating pain of your wedding night sodomy and the inevitable divorce that you’re careening towards a couple months later." - April to Kurt and Blaine