All of that money, and the bluetooth isn't hooked up.
No police caught Bruce, but cameras did, which is just as damning.
[Image via Splash News.]
Or as Stephen put it:
"So, in a sense I was cancelled for three days. Just like Jesus."
"Who would have thought a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstandings?…Now, the Cancel Colbert people think that even in context, I'm a racist. I just want to say that I'm not a racist. I don't even see race. Not even my own. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because I just devoted six minutes to explaining how I'm not a racist!…To recap, a web editor I've never met posts a tweet in my name on an account I don't control, outrages a hashtag activist, and the news media gets 72 hours of content. The system worked."
We've got to say he handles the whole situation pretty masterfully.
Throughout the segment, even in character, Stephen makes it clear that you should never attack the satirist, but rather the issue he's satirizing.
In addition, he made sure his fans stopped attacking the activist who made the #CancelColbert hashtag go viral, and reminded us that the real issue was Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder's creation of the Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation.
Nation, ch-ch-check out his defense (below)!
[Image via Comedy Central.]